Post by rockyraccoon on Feb 2, 2007 19:51:13 GMT -5
i want one!
STUN GUN
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife..
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser
for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn
Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our
22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across
was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse sized taser.
The effects of the taser were supposed to be short
lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to
safety .... WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it
home. I loaded two triple-A batteries in the darn
thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was
disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the
same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting
back and forth between the prongs.
Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to
Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her
microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking
to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only
two triple-A batteries, right?!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on
intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading
the directions and thinking that I really needed to
try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a
fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is
such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this
thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger,
I did want some assurance that it would work as
advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top
with my reading glasses perched delicately on the
bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser
in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would
shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second
burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major
loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground
like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three
seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device
measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in
circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two
itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself,
"no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but
I'll do my best..
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her
head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it
master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a
tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad . I
decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the
heck of it.
So I gently touched the prongs to my naked thigh, tapped the
button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS
DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side
door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed
us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I
vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet,
both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found,
with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
position, and tingling in my legs.
The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I
had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly
thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a
taser, one note of caution:
There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you
zap yourself. You will not let go of that damn thing until
it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing
about on the floor. A three-second burst would be
considered conservative.
SON-OF-A- ... that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so
later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing
at that point), collected my wits (what little I had
left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the
fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps,
right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My
face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and
my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I'm still looking for my testicles .... I'm offering a
significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock,
Earl
kim
STUN GUN
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife..
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser
for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn
Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our
22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across
was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse sized taser.
The effects of the taser were supposed to be short
lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to
safety .... WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it
home. I loaded two triple-A batteries in the darn
thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was
disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the
same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting
back and forth between the prongs.
Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to
Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her
microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking
to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only
two triple-A batteries, right?!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on
intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading
the directions and thinking that I really needed to
try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a
fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is
such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this
thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger,
I did want some assurance that it would work as
advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top
with my reading glasses perched delicately on the
bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser
in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would
shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second
burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major
loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground
like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three
seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device
measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in
circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two
itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself,
"no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but
I'll do my best..
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her
head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it
master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a
tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad . I
decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the
heck of it.
So I gently touched the prongs to my naked thigh, tapped the
button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS
DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side
door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed
us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I
vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet,
both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found,
with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
position, and tingling in my legs.
The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I
had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly
thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a
taser, one note of caution:
There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you
zap yourself. You will not let go of that damn thing until
it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing
about on the floor. A three-second burst would be
considered conservative.
SON-OF-A- ... that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so
later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing
at that point), collected my wits (what little I had
left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the
fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps,
right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My
face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and
my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I'm still looking for my testicles .... I'm offering a
significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock,
Earl
kim