Post by docone31 on Jul 25, 2014 21:09:33 GMT -5
As a young boy, I heard a story about the ultimate lovepotion called Purple Passion. It was supposed to turn any fellow into the most desirablething in the zip code for any female.
Intrigued, I asked my older brother about it, and he said,because he was my brother, I should never ask anyone that question again orelse…. Of course, I was young and stupid, so while I did not mention it againfor some time, I continued to think about it.
I was a bit distracted during high school so I did not havemuch of a social life. I spent most of my time studying and managed to graduateValedictorian of my class and received the first fully paid scholarship to anIvy League school awarded in my county. The local Rotary Club threw a party forme when I was about to leave for school, and they had a little ceremony whichmost of the town attended. I received a key to the town and a train ticket eastto school and there was much feting and eating and drinking. The Mayor leanedover to me during the feast and said, “If there is anything you need do nothesitate to ask me and I will make it happen.” Well, remember I am young andstupid, I decided to ask him what he knew about Purple Passion and were I mightfind it.
You would think he caught me in bed with his daughter! Heturned a deep shade of red, started to bluster something about immoral andinsolent kids and had me rushed out of town by the Sheriff. No train ride eastfor me and no belongings. So I hitched my way to Cornell, in New Your State,where I majored in Chemical Engineering and minored in Anthropology andEconomics. Heck, if no one could tell me about this stuff maybe I could make itor find it.
Five years pass, I manage to eke out my Masters in Chemical Engineering and a Bachelor of Science in Economics, patent two solvents and a lubricant, and publish my Masters Thesis in Chemistry. I washired by a global chemical company (I cannot use their name here), and ongraduation day, we had another great party, remember farting, eating drinking,with many of my professors, mentors, and college friends. The fellow instrumental in my completing my Master’s Thesis was there, and he made asimilar offer to the Mayor’s. I must have still had some of the young and stupid stuff floating in my head, so I decided to ask him what he knew about Purple Passion and were I might find it.
Well, guess what happened: he blew a gasket, the party went south and he said I would never work in the Chemical Industry again if he had anything to do with it (and, apparently, he could do that). I spent the next few years wandering about, odd jobs here and there, still receiving royalties from my patents, and seeing the world, since that chemical company nor anyother would have anything to do with me.
After a bit of wandering, I found myself in a backwater town in Australia (I cannot name it as you will see…) drinking in the only pub intown and chatting with the locals. One thing lead to another and we started playing poker. Well, the math and science from college apparently made me a better poker player than the folks in this town, and soon I had amassed all the loose change and bills in the bar. Apparently one of the losers was a local farmer and land owner who could not bear losing to me so he put up half of his ranch against my winnings for one more hand.
I kind of felt bad, and should have quit, but he was persistent.I put my money in the pot and he put his deed in and we were dealt one more hand. Well, my five cards were a straight flush seven to Jack. Needless to sayI won the hand, and the rancher was good to his word and signed over half hisranch.
Well, I was still roaming and figured this might just tie me down, so I offered him the deed back if he would answer one question for me.Remember—young and stupid. He shook on the deal and I whispered into his ear the same thing that had bugged me since I was 8 years old, “What do you know about Purple Passion and were I might find it?”
I stepped away fully expecting the same reaction as before,but he remained calm and stepped over to me and whispered back, “It is righthere in town. Just walk across the street and down the alley to the left. Knock on the third door and the lady who answers can tell you all about it. With that pile of money you may be able to buy some off of her, too.”
I stumbled back and sat down hard. All the angst and worry about this mystery washed away. Finally, after years of asking a forbidden question and wandering the answer was within walking distance! I could use my funds to buy some, then set up a lab to reverse engineer it and market it to the world!Jumping up, I rushed out the door of the pub, spotted the entrance to the alley, dashes across the porch and into the street and…
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…was killed by a bus.