earthdog
Cave Dweller 
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Oct 1, 2007 19:39:16 GMT -5
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don ' t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you ' re talking to them. New shoes don ' t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2007 22:48:28 GMT -5
I dont need the garage, Ive got the whole house. I got married in the nude so my wedding plans pretty much took care of themselves. Chocolate IS just a snack as far as Im concerned. Women can be President and will, especially since the last male one hasnt done that great of a job. Ive had a hysterectomy and cant get pregnant. I would wear a white t-shirt to a water park........or no shirt at all like I did at Ozzfest. I dont need car mechanics to tell me the truth, thats what my husband is for. I dont need to travel to different gas stations because I prefer peeing outside if I have a choice anyway. While other husbands are riding to various gas stations to find their woman a clean bathroom. Im squatting out in the nice clean woods. I do have to recite the righty tighty, lefty loosey phrase in my head to turn a nut but who cares! I make the same amount of money as my husband. He is also 13 years older than I am so any wrinkles I get will be gotten AFTER he gets them so it doesnt matter. Again, I got married in the nude so I didnt pay $5000 on a wedding dress. I dont mind people staring at my chest because they stare at my husband's chest too (bodybuilder) so we're even. I refuse to wear dresses and have no use for shoes that cut, blister, or mangle my feet. My phone conversations can be over in 30 seconds.....I just make 50 calls per day. Tanks? I dont think I need to know anything about those. I dont even need a suitcase for a 5 day vacation. Give me half of a saddlebag on the Harley and Im good. Grandma gave me a special tool, I can open all my own jars. I am jokingly referred to as insensitive by my husband so I probably get extra credit for thoughtfulness as well. Im anti-social and dont like to be invited to things so if they forget, thank God! My underwear is $8.95 for a 3-pack too because I wear kids sizes. I hate shoe shopping and prefer my favorite pair of wellingtons for everything. I guess Im not much of a female because I dont really have strap problems in public. I do hate wrinkles in clothes but NEVER use an iron. Thats what a dryer is for....de-wrinkling. I dont wear makeup at all. I have long, straight hair so it pretty much always stays the same. I dont have to shave my neck and face so I think that makes us even for the fact that I have to shave my pits and legs. I have lots of toys to play with too.........mainly motorcycles and firearms. I hate purses and usually just carry a wallet as well. I am told I have cute legs but dont like shorts so it doesnt matter. Do my nails? Are you kidding? Im a dog groomer. "Doing" my nails consists of cutting them as short as possible so that unspeakable dog "stuff" doesnt end up under them. If I really wanted a mustache, I could buy one. And last but not least....I hate christmas shopping so I can shop for 25 relatives online quicker than you can on December 24th. I dont have to leave the house and its delivered to my door. All in all, I'd say Im a pretty happy chick.  And besides I can by-pass your entire post with just two words.......MULTIPLE ORGASMS. Feel free to scold me for those last two words people. I just couldnt help it. |
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Post by cpdad on Oct 1, 2007 22:58:44 GMT -5
GOT A TWIN ;D
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adrian65
Cave Dweller
Arch to golden memories and to great friends.
Member since February 2007
Posts: 10,790
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Post by adrian65 on Oct 2, 2007 5:30:22 GMT -5
Wow, Shannon! What a great post! I mostly enjoyed the foreplay beginning, but the finish was also great ... in fact it seems it doesn't have only one finish!
Earthdog, I think you've found a real challenger for your women vs men threads!
Adrian
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Post by Tweetiepy on Oct 2, 2007 6:27:09 GMT -5
I don't wear makeup one reason is that it takes too darn long and who the heck do I need to impress a work?
Women who wear makeup every day, skip a day and they look so sick (a friend of mine showed up the day before my wedding without makeup and i asked her if she was okay - I don't wear any and when I do I get cutie points for looking better than normal!
I like both your posts! I too am not a girlie-girl - I have 1 pair or shoes, 1 pair of sandals and 2 pairs of running shoes (one of those are my steel-toed running shoes)
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stefan
Cave Dweller
Member since January 2005
Posts: 14,113
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Post by stefan on Oct 2, 2007 10:13:35 GMT -5
ummmmm Shannon- ummm I'm speechless!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2007 14:29:35 GMT -5
Some of us women not only like to hang with the boys, but we also do a pretty good job keepin up with them. ;D I grew up with 5 uncles, my best friends in school were guys, and my husband says Im like a guy without a p.............oh never mind. Shannon |
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Post by krazydiamond on Oct 2, 2007 16:14:00 GMT -5
wowser, Go, Shannon, GO! i was impressed with the nude wedding and my jaw just dropped further and further as the laughter increased both in frequency and volume.
KD
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2007 16:35:02 GMT -5
KD, Well, its hard to know a person's real personality via "computer". Im kind of a foul mouthed little tomboy but I know when to be good, and I do try really hard on the forums. I guess I just felt the need to prove that not all women are like THAT post. LOL Yes, the nude wedding was a blast. Weddings are usually more for those watching and are very stressful for those in the ceremony. We wanted to do something just for us. So, one of our best friends became ordained online and he married us. He was nude too lol. I do have photos of me in a bikini and Jay in shorts.......I mean, we couldnt show nude photos to the grandmas! Shannon PS-Hey Tweetie, they make steel toed running shoes?  |
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stonesnbones
spending too much on rocks
Member since September 2007
Posts: 255
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Post by stonesnbones on Oct 2, 2007 17:00:12 GMT -5
Well Shannon,that was a eye opener to say the least!The photos you have posted of yourself at the other forum and your comments about your diminutive size has had me thinking you are a sweet as sugar angel.Now holy moly girl,you are it. So,I enjoy firearms as well,I am trying to figure out what you prefer to shoot.So what is your weapon of choice? ?and do not say your mouth. Brad |
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huffstuff
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since August 2007
Posts: 1,222
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Post by huffstuff on Oct 2, 2007 17:06:09 GMT -5
giggle. I guess weeshan is what you do in the woods? giggle.
I was wondering about running in steel-toed shoes, too, tweetie. Sounds like a tough training regimen, or a self-defense tool for nighttime runners!
Amy
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2007 17:13:42 GMT -5
Amy,
HAHAHAHA. The "wee" in weeshan is actually because of my small size but I guess it works for that as well lol.
Maybe tweet thinks something will fall on her toes while running??? Hmmmm, this is quite a mystery.
Shannon
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earthdog
Cave Dweller
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Oct 2, 2007 18:20:08 GMT -5
Shannon, Thats a response for the "holy crap" thread.
Don't take it so personal woman...
Pm me the wedding photos....
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2007 18:38:55 GMT -5
earthdog, If I was actually taking it personal I would have already pm'd you. Sure, I can show you wedding photos, just remember there are more naked men in the photos than women. You still want em? Shannon |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2007 18:43:35 GMT -5
Brad,
My all time favorite is my .357 revolver. For hunting I use a pump action 30-06. Ive been TOLD by some that I am too small to handle a 30-06 but thats what Ive used since I was 16 years old. Prior to that I had a Featherweight .308
Shan
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earthdog
Cave Dweller
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Oct 2, 2007 19:47:07 GMT -5
I haven't gotten a PM from you since Sept 8.
Sure send the wedding pics. Takila and I can look at them together...
Maybe it will give her an idea for our 5th anniversary.
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blarneystone
spending too much on rocks
Rocks in my head
Member since March 2010
Posts: 307
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Post by blarneystone on Oct 2, 2007 20:29:48 GMT -5
Dang! Shannon! You sound like a Texas girl!! ;D
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Post by beefjello on Oct 3, 2007 8:06:52 GMT -5
Wowzerz Shannon!  ;D |
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WyckedWyre
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since April 2007
Posts: 1,391
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Post by WyckedWyre on Oct 3, 2007 8:35:53 GMT -5
Hey, Shannon! I think I've found my soulmate...
BTW. Have you tried CROCS? I love mine! Most comfortable shoes IN THE UNIVERSE!
YOU GO, GIRL!
;)S
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stefan
Cave Dweller
Member since January 2005
Posts: 14,113
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Post by stefan on Oct 3, 2007 10:41:02 GMT -5
SUSAN!!!!! I'm picking up a pair of Crocs this weekend- My Big footed daughter just got a pair and I tried them on (ok they were a bit small) but Holy F-in Crap those are some comfy shoes!!! I don't care what they look like on me- they are TOO COMFY!! (HEHEHE and pretty much eliminate foot odor!)
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And besides I can by-pass your entire post with just two words.......MULTIPLE ORGASMS. Feel free to scold me for those last two words people. I just couldnt help it. 
