free4rms
freely admits to licking rocks
My little pet walrus
Member since January 2007
Posts: 839
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Post by free4rms on Nov 20, 2012 18:08:09 GMT -5
You know, with Thanksgiving coming up in a couple of days, I would like everyone's opinion on something that just rubs me the wrong way. I have a niece (17 yrs.) and twin nephews (11yrs. old). They come over once in awhile with their parents when we have a family get together/meal. In the last year or so, every single time they come over, the boys bring their hand held video games, and one of them always has a book that he is reading. My niece stays glued to her i-phone. They spend the entire evening playing on their video games or they will plop themselves down in a comfortable chair and read, totally ignoring everyone else in the room. Maybe I am old fashioned, but this just seems to be totally rude and I think that it would not be unreasonable to make a new "house rule" that there will be no video games or books when the family has decided to spend some time together. I know that these games are a sign of the electronic world we live in, but do you think it is too much to ask for kids to put them down during these family gatherings? Or am I just an old-fashioned fuddy-dud?
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bushmanbilly
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Member since October 2008
Posts: 4,719
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Post by bushmanbilly on Nov 20, 2012 18:22:33 GMT -5
I agree with you 100%. There is nothing more annoying than 2 people texting each other at the same table. Make the rule, your house. If they don't like it, tough. They will get over it. Have a good thanksgiving.
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Post by texaswoodie on Nov 20, 2012 18:36:44 GMT -5
Yup, it's the new normal.
Manners are no longer valued. Actually, I don't think anyone but us old farts remember what manners are.
Curt
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grayfingers
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Member since November 2007
Posts: 4,575
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Post by grayfingers on Nov 20, 2012 18:56:08 GMT -5
Totally agree. Just one of many signs that as a society, we are about toast. Watched a two-night Ken Burns special on the Dustbowl the last couple of nights. Amazing how just a couple of generations ago people were so different, especially in values, which is the fount from which manners emanate.
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Post by Donnie's Rocky Treasures on Nov 20, 2012 18:59:01 GMT -5
Seems to be the way of the new generation. Your house, your rules, if they don't like it, they can go home! Don't sound like the parents are in charge here & since it's your house, it's your game!
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Post by sheltie on Nov 20, 2012 19:01:14 GMT -5
You're an old fuddy-duddy ;D. You have nothing in common with them other than blood anyway so just let them do their thing. Unless you have something planned that actively involves everyone, ignore them. They won't be humans for another few years anyway.
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fmelvis
starting to spend too much on rocks
Member since November 2010
Posts: 235
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Post by fmelvis on Nov 20, 2012 19:04:01 GMT -5
take away their electronics and they wouldn't know what to do. Were you like, maybe like, hoping for like, a conversation like with them, like maybe? At least they're quiet.
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Sabre52
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Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,487
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Post by Sabre52 on Nov 20, 2012 19:53:52 GMT -5
Heck, Kids don't give a dang about what the old folks gab about and the older folks don't understand or care a dang about the crap kids care about. My niece used to go on and on about these four dang metrosexual looking brothers. Can't remember who they were, and my nephew cared for nothing much except video games. Them being quiet sounds great to me *L*.....Mel
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Post by helens on Nov 20, 2012 20:30:43 GMT -5
I completely agree with you. It IS rude. However, I bet their parents, like us, have a hard time prying the kids away from the electronics too. HOWEVER, it would probably be great for THEIR PARENTS that YOU set down the rule of NO electronics in my house, or during dinner, or get get-together time. Maybe you'd even help their parents out.
Today's kids are soooo unlike us as kids BECAUSE of those electronics. They get spoonfed defiance by friends from every quarter, literally every minute they're awake. It's a daily battle that parents have been losing for the last decade.
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Deleted
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Member since January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2012 21:04:11 GMT -5
Break out the non electronic games and get everyone involved. There can be a lot of chatter and laughs and everyone has fun being and playing together. A lot of the kids really enjoy the old games that we used to play if everyone gets involved. We have 20 to 30 of the games and most of the time the kids are the ones that suggest we all play.
Happy Thanksgiving Jim
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fishnuts
starting to shine!
Member since April 2012
Posts: 33
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Post by fishnuts on Nov 20, 2012 23:39:20 GMT -5
I agree with wampidy. This has happened to me with my niece and nephew. It maybe the new normal unless you are at my place. Now at my family gatherings the internet gets unhooked, kids help with dishes and we play the old style games. Something we all can play. Skip-bo, Sorry, Uno, Sequence, Horse racing game, or just good old Fish. If the electronics come out I take them away. My house my rules, does the tail wag the dog? Of course it has to be done in a nice hearted way. Does not matter their age, kids still loved to be played with and included in what adults do. Can't blame them that behavior was taught to the kids. My saying is play with them don't play down to them. Believe it or not they now tell me I am now the coolest Uncle; my niece (14) even learned play cribbage.(remember it won’t happen overnight or with one visit)
Shawn
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Post by jakesrocks on Nov 20, 2012 23:57:21 GMT -5
Just break out a cattle prod and zap the damned electronics as soon as they come in your house. End of problem.
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unclestu
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Post by unclestu on Nov 21, 2012 0:57:01 GMT -5
I agree with Jim. Stu
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Post by Roller on Nov 21, 2012 1:13:57 GMT -5
worse thing you could do is yell, scream and fight about it // in my opinion .. be damnding but polite .. but at the same time if your gunna take there new fun away you better make some old fun for them in another way .. maybe show them how to pan or rockhound or cut a cab .. if not better break out those old dance moves .. lol do something to grab there attention !
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Post by mohs on Nov 21, 2012 1:24:44 GMT -5
I wouldn't allow any electronics at the Thanksgiving table :nono: otherwise, the best you can do is be a rock happening uncle mostly
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Post by Woodyrock on Nov 21, 2012 2:20:36 GMT -5
I fully agree on no electronics at the table...any meal, but I grew up in the age on children should be seen, not heard. After dinner, let them disappear into their games. I usually vanished into a book when young, and would do so now if I could get away with it. Woody
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free4rms
freely admits to licking rocks
My little pet walrus
Member since January 2007
Posts: 839
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Post by free4rms on Nov 21, 2012 9:27:01 GMT -5
Update: Actually, we do have family game nights and they are a big hit. I am also showing my nephews how I do my lapidary work, and one of them I think will become a rock grinder one day. My 17 yr. old niece works for me part time in my lapidary/electroforming business and shows an interest. I realize that kids have a need to be entertained to some degree and when I was growing up, our "electronics" was to be parked in front of a t.v. with a reasonable volume while the adults talked. So I guess there is not a lot of difference between those days and today. I suppose my main gripe is that with hand held video devices of most kinds, the kids are so absorbed in them, there could be an earthquake and they would not notice. It is a given that there will be no electronics at the dinner table, but I think I will end up either eliminating them on family visits, or seriously limiting them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2012 12:17:12 GMT -5
I agree with your decision. It is rude for anyone to be on a phone, playing games by themselves, be plugged into music, or otherwise preoccupied when visiting someone else, even a close relative or friend. As a kid, even bringing along a book was out. That was the way we learned to listen to others, to converse politely, to wait our turns, to appreciate family histories and values, get to know our relatives, etc. You don't go to someone else's house to be ENTERTAINED, you go to VISIT and ENGAGE with them. Hopefully they'll appreciate that.
I do agree that there should be no argument. It is your house, your rules, but no reason to have a blow-up if they are intransigent. If they won't put away the technology, you can always hold up a mirror to their rude behavior later by bringing along your own "entertainment" when on your next visit to their house and completely ignoring THEM.
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adrian65
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Post by adrian65 on Nov 21, 2012 12:47:02 GMT -5
If this makes you feel better, it's everywhere. I also have a niece - 11 years old - and she constantly plays games on her smartphone - or whatever that electronic gadget is named - during the family reunions. Maybe us - the oldies - are too boring in their eyes.
Anyway, reading is meritory, you should be happy about it. Not very often encountered nowadays.
Adrian
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chassroc
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Post by chassroc on Nov 21, 2012 15:23:50 GMT -5
Certainly is best not to come on too strong and sound like the crotchety old relatives no one wants to visit.
Try to involve and engage but dont force your will and views onto them.
Teenagers grow to be twenty and thirty year olds who may find a love of family in different ways that in their formative years
charlie
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