WyckedWyre
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since April 2007
Posts: 1,391
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Post by WyckedWyre on Jan 27, 2009 13:19:03 GMT -5
This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
;DS
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Post by bobby1 on Jan 27, 2009 13:33:54 GMT -5
You could go to Mcdonalds and help pay the wages of some illegals. How much of Mcdonald's beef comes from Argentina? Bob
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2009 13:35:39 GMT -5
LOL, Hell yeah! I like the tattoo idea. That IS what we spent our last stimulus on LOL
Shannon
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Post by Bikerrandy on Jan 27, 2009 14:10:39 GMT -5
I'm gonna pay a kid to mow my lawn, purchase a dime bag of home-grown, then find a prostitute and mow her lawn ;D
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chassroc
Cave Dweller
Rocks are abundant when you have rocktumblinghobby pals
Member since January 2005
Posts: 3,586
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Post by chassroc on Jan 27, 2009 16:51:24 GMT -5
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
alas....Except Budweiser, Coors and Miller which now are also foreign beers
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Post by Bikerrandy on Jan 27, 2009 17:06:29 GMT -5
Yuengling beer, brewed in the USA!!
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Post by Bejewelme on Jan 27, 2009 18:17:25 GMT -5
I am going to call 1800GIGALOS and rent me an 18 year old stud, swing by the local winery and get some wine, light an Amish made candle.........and ......oh........ wait I'm dreaming outloud again! Randy- Come see us Yuengling is nearby and the brewery tour is awesome! You know what the real B**** is of the stimulus? I got a check last year for my son, well being divorced in the settlement we alternate the tax deduction, so although my ex is an attorny and makes 5 times as much as me and sees my son every other weekend he gets the money this year!!! Ugh. That is the bummer. I struggle and he gets more. I see many contractors that will only buy Klien tools from us because they are still made in America. Hershey moved 3/4 of its operation to Mexico the local Godiva factory is now owned by people from Turkey! I am glad we still have the Amish and local farmer's markets to keep the money somewhat close to home! Amber
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Rockygibraltar
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since February 2006
Posts: 1,404
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Post by Rockygibraltar on Jan 27, 2009 19:33:32 GMT -5
The fed will need it back to pay for this. This isn't the final word on the plan but as of monday this is how it looked.
$44 million for construction, repair and improvements at US Department of Agriculture facilties
$209 million for work on deferred maintenance at Agricultural Research Service facilities
$245 million for maintaining and modernizing the IT system of the Farm Service Agency
$175 million to buy and restore floodplain easements for flood prevention
$50 million for "Watershed Rehabilitation"
$1.1 billion for rural community facilities direct loans
$2 billion for rural business and industry guaranteed loans
$2.7 billion for rural water and waste dispoal direct loans
$22.1 billion for rural housing insurance fund loans
$2.8 billion for loans to spur rural broadband
$150 million for emergency food assistance
$50 million for regional economic development commissions
$1 billion for "Periodic Censuses and Programs"
$350 million for State Broadband Data and Development Grants
$1.8 billion for Rural Broadband Deployment Grants
$1 billion for Rural Wireless Deployment Grants
$650 million for Digital-to-Analog Converter Box Program
$100 million for "Scientific and Technical Research and Services" at the National Institute of Standards And Technology
$30 million for necessary expenses of the "Hollings Manufacturing Extension Partnership"
$300 million for a competitive construction grant program for research science buildings
$400 million for "habitat restoration and mitigation activities" at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
$600 million for "accelerating satellite development and acquisition"
$140 million for "climate data modeling"
$3 billion for state and local law enforcement grants
$1 billion for "Community Oriented Policing Services"
$250 million for "accelerating the development of the tier 1 set of Earth science climate research missions recommended by the National Academies Decadal Survey."
$50 million for repairs to NASA facilities from storm damage
$300 million for "Major Research Insrumentation program" (science)
$200 million for "academic research facilities modernization"
$100 million for "Education and Human Resources"
$400 million for "Major Research Equipment and Facilities Construction"
$4.5 billion to make military facilities more energy efficient
$1.5 billion for Army Operation and Maintenance fund
$624 million for Navy Operation and Maintenance
$128 million for Marine Corps Operation and Maintenance
$1.23 billion for Air Force Operation and Maintenance
$454 million to "Defense Health Program"
$110 million for Army Reserve Operation and Maintenance
$62 million for Navy Reserve Operation and Maintenance
$45 million for Marine Corps Reserve Operation and Maintenance
$14 million for Air Force Reserve Operation and Maintenance
$302 million for National Guard Operation and Maintenance
$29 million for Air National Guard Operation and Maintenance
$350 million for military energy research and development programs
$2 billion for Army Corps of Engineers "Construction"
$250 million for "Mississippi River and Tributaries"
$2.2 billion for Army Corps "Operation and Maintenance"
$25 million for an Army Corps "Regulatory Program"
$126 million for Interior Department "water reclamation and reuse projects"
$80 million for "rural water projects"
$18.5 billion for "Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy" research in the Department of Energy. That money includes:
$2 billion for development of advanced batteries
$800 million of that is for biomass research and $400 million for geothermal technologies
$1 billion in grants to "institutional entities for energy sustainability and efficiency"
$6.2 billion for the Weatherization Assistance Program
$3.5 billion for Energy Efficiency and Conservation Block Grants
$3.4 billion for state energy programs
$200 million for expenses to implement energy independence programs
$300 million for expenses to implement Energy efficient appliance rebate programs including the Energy Star program
$400 million for expenses to implement Alternative Fuel Vehicle and Infrastructure Grants to States and Local Governments
$1 billion for expenses necessary for advanced battery manufacturing
$4.5 billion to modernize the nation's electricity grid
$1 billion for the Advanced Battery Loan Guarantee Program
$2.4 billion to demonstrate "carbon capture and sequestration technologies"
$400 million for the Advanced Research Projects Agency (Science)
$500 million for "Defense Environmental Cleanup"
$1 billion for construction and repair of border facilities and land ports of entry
$6 billion for energy efficiency projects on government buildings
$600 million to buy and lease government plug-in and alternative fuel vehicles
$426 million in small business loans
$100 million for "non-intrusive detection technology to be deployed at sea ports of entry
$150 million for repair and construction at land border ports of entry
$500 million for explosive detection systems for aviation security
$150 million for alteration or removal of obstructive bridges
$200 million for FEMA Emergency Food and Shelter program
$325 million for Interior Department road, bridge and trail repair projects
$300 million for road and bridge work in Wildlife Refuges and Fish Hatcheries
$1.7 billion for "critical deferred maintenance" in the National Park System
$200 million to revitalize the National Mall in Washington, D.C.
$100 million for National Park Service Centennial Challenge programs
$200 million for repair of U.S. Geological Survey facilities
$500 million for repair and replacement of schools, jails, roads, bridges, housing and more for Bureau of Indian Affairs
$800 million for Superfund programs
$200 million for leaking underground storage tank cleanup
$8.4 billion in "State and Tribal Assistance Grants"
$650 million in "Capital Improvement and Maintenance" at the Agriculture Dept.
$850 million for "Wildland Fire Management"
$550 million for Indian Health facilties
$150 million for deferred maintenance at the Smithsonian museums
$50 million in grants to fund "arts projects and activities which preserve jobs in the non-profit arts sector threatened by declines in philanthropic and other support during the current economic downturn" through the National Endowment for the Arts
$1.2 billion in grants to states for youth summer jobs programs and other activities
$1 billion for states in dislocated worker employment and training activities
$500 million for the dislocated workers assistance national reserve
$80 million for the enforcement of worker protection laws and regulations related to infrastructure and unemployment insurance investments
$300 million for "construction, rehabilitation and acquisition of Job Corps Centers"
$250 million for public health centers
$1 billion for renovation and repair of health centers
$600 million for nurse, physician and dentist training
$462 million for renovation work at the Centers for Disease Control
$1.5 billion for "National Center for Research Resources"
$500 million for "Buildlings and Facilties" at the National Institutes of Health in suburban Washington, D.C.
$700 million for "comparative effectiveness research" on prescription drugs
$1 billion for Low-Income Home Energy Assistance
$2 billion in Child Care and Development Block Grants for states
$1 billion for Head Start programs
$1.1 billion for Early Head Start programs
$100 million for Social Security research programs
$200 million for "Aging Services Programs"
$2 billion for "Office of the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology"
$430 million for public health/social services emergency funds
$2.3 billion for the Centers for Disease Control for a variety of programs
$5.5 billion in targeted education grants
$5.5 billion in "education finance incentive grants"
$2 billion in "school improvement grants"
$13.6 billion for Individuals with Disabilities Education Act
$250 million for statewide education data systems
$14 billion for school modernization, renovation and repair
$160 million for AmeriCorps grants
$400 million for the construction and costs to establish a new "National Computer Center" for the Social Security Administration
$500 million to improve processing of disability and retirement claims
$920 million for Army housing and child development centers
$350 million for Navy and Marine Corps housing and child development centers
$280 million in Air Force housing and child development centers
$3.75 billion in military hospital and surgery center construction
$140 million in Army National Guard construction projects
$70 million in Air National Guard construction projects
$100 million in Army Reserve construction projects
$30 million in Navy Reserve construction projects
$60 million in Air Force Reserve construction projects
$950 million for VA Medical Facilities
$50 million for repairs for military cemeteries
$120 million for a backup information management facility for the State Department
$98 million for National Cybersecurity Initiative
$3 billion for "Grants-in-Aid for Airports"
$300 million for Indian Reservation roads
$300 million for Amtrak capital needs
$800 million for national railroad assets or infrastructure repairs, upgrades
$5.4 billion in federal transit grants
$2 billion in infrastructure development for subways and commuter railways
$5 billion for public housing capital
$1 billion in competitive housing grants
$2.5 billion for energy efficiency upgrades in public housing
$500 million in Native American Housing Block Grants
$4.1 billion to help communities deal with foreclosed homes
$1.5 billion in homeless prevention activities
$79 billion in education funds for states
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Post by texaswoodie on Jan 27, 2009 20:00:43 GMT -5
Yup, that should make a bunch of politicians rich.
Curt
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WyckedWyre
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since April 2007
Posts: 1,391
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Post by WyckedWyre on Jan 27, 2009 20:36:08 GMT -5
Or... ahem...do what I did with the last stimulus check. BUY A NEW GRINDER made in the good old US of A!
:nono: S
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Post by mohs on Jan 27, 2009 23:12:07 GMT -5
:2cents:
So did I
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hope
spending too much on rocks
Member since May 2008
Posts: 477
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Post by hope on Jan 30, 2009 13:11:42 GMT -5
This thread really got me laughing even though the politicians today are not any laughing matter. BikerRandy I just about fell out of my chair at your first post. Giterdone! And Amber, I use to visit the lancaster area on mini-vacations once or twice a year. Might need to get up there again. It might just be time for another picture standing under the Intercourse, PA sign.
But really, I started voting against all incumbent lawmakers a few years back. My point of view is that if they are honest when they become a lawmaker, the will be a crook by the end of their first term. So I just vote for the new guy all the time. America would be better off, I think if everyone started doing that.
Hope
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