|
Post by sandsman1 on Oct 23, 2013 20:11:32 GMT -5
Woman Shot in her own Driveway Linda Burnett, 26, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered. Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence. The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault (HL)
|
|
|
hahaha
Oct 23, 2013 22:12:45 GMT -5
Post by sandsman1 on Oct 23, 2013 22:12:45 GMT -5
How much are you willing to donate...remember give till it hurts...
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”
“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress. They’re asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car collecting donations....”
“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.
The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2013 11:29:11 GMT -5
I have 5 gallons!
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None.
Blonde don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in cars.
|
|
|
hahaha
Oct 24, 2013 11:32:46 GMT -5
Post by rockpickerforever on Oct 24, 2013 11:32:46 GMT -5
Hey, I resemble that remark! No blond jokes.
|
|
|
hahaha
Oct 24, 2013 11:53:44 GMT -5
Post by mohs on Oct 24, 2013 11:53:44 GMT -5
Now is this any way to behave on a rock board ? shaking head & laughing hysterically mohs
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
|
hahaha
Oct 24, 2013 12:32:34 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2013 12:32:34 GMT -5
Hey, I resemble that remark! No blond jokes. Sorry blondie
|
|
|
hahaha
Oct 24, 2013 13:59:50 GMT -5
Post by wireholic on Oct 24, 2013 13:59:50 GMT -5
Maybe if you got a really, really big lightbulb....but then you'd have to un-screw the cap to get in and then re-screw it back on once you got in..I'm already tired just thinking about all that un-screwing and re-screwing and haven't even gotten to the real screwing yet!! Yup - Scott's right - the car's much easier! lol
And no I'm not telling you what color my hair is
|
|