Got a new cell phone yesterday

HEHEHe You crack me up- Its a phone man--- just a phone- I go in to Verizon (yea I know- but they are the cheapest around that gives us a signal) every 2 years and "upgrade" my phone- the guys starts telling me all about the MP3 GPS AVG WAV Blahblahblah BS and I say- UMMMMM give me a phone that will dial out- and I can recieve calls on- and maybe change the ringer on it- Yup I got some LG Model CHeap Piece of Crap that will be traded in in 1.5 years when my contract is up for renewal!!!!

"So far, I haven't been able to do anything related to rocks with it but i'm sure I will figure something out."

Seen it used for scale in rock pics.
Most annoying piece of technology since sliced bread.

Rich

I still have my Motorolla radio phone. It plugs into my cigarette lighter in the dash. Mobile operators are getting far and few between these days, and I feel like I got compromised service.
Everybody knows those little cricket talkers are nothing but social control. The Electricals use them to control our position. The signal goes directly into the satellite keeping track of us. The Electricals then go directly into our brain. I do not use them, neither did Morpheous. Also using them during an Electrical storm changes our brain chemistry. We get into our automobiles to escape the scrutiny of our spouses, instead, we talk to them and they turn us into girly guys. Same happens to women. Instead of talking to a new fling when hubby is home watching the kids, they call home and talk to their children. Their children then call them and they forget they are driving. Once they smash into someone at an intersection, ask them, what were they talking about before they had the accident? I bet hubby had already taken out the garbage, or put the TV dinner in the oven and I bet he wasn't watching Bambi.
Once momma releases her grip, he watches either Clint Eastwood, or John Wayne reruns. Those are almost as good as girls on trampolines.
None of those cricket talkers for me. No conversation is so important I cannot look the person in the eye. Even with a spy window in the cricket talker. Almost makes me want to watch Lloyd Bridges Seahunt reruns. Kirk Douglas is another good one. They do not talk on those darn things. Neither did Josey Wales.

Yeah, but who would buy it? Or even read it. The liberals won't even stop blaming Carter for starting the Vietnam war to get past the cover. No one on the Left Coast will read it, where men are women, women are men, and sheep purr. Well, not everyone, but it seems they are so liberal they hate anyone who is not like them. In the midwest, they watch John Wayne, in the Northeast they are so provincial any thought not directly from them is valueless, even if it is how to get to food. In the south and southeast they are still argueing about which southern troops shot Stonewall Jackson right before the decisive battle which ultimately determined the outcome. And then Texas, and Texas, and Texas, and Texas, gads, tiring just remembering driving across it. And Texas, and Texas....... There is only a gaggle of Freeze Dried Hippies left, but, they left most of their brain cells at Woodstock, the ones remaining are sparking, blinding the others. Then the elderboomers. All they care about is teaching their children a lesson, and finding new ways to be annoying.
I remember when the LED watch came out. National Geographic, Time Magazine, Manchester Union Leader, New York Times had a special, 400$! Wow, but all it did was have four red numbers. No one knew how to change the battery, and the few who tried broke it.
I know what it is, the Electricals have implanted doubt into our lives. We have forgotten. Of course if you talk on a talking Cricket during a thunderstorm you will no longer be heterosexual. It is the Electricals. They have created a trap! We have fallen prey! The few of us who remember are categorically ignored. It takes work to read! Why I even got my doctorate without using a lap top! I wrote my thesis on a legal pad! Remember them? Woody Allen had it right on the bean. Pizza is really health food. Much better than organic spinache laced with E-Coli! We are becoming a gestaltic collective manipulated by the Electricals.
Tinfoil hats needed, no Cricket Talkers, no Silicone Brained Antithistical Antichrist labour savers!
Sourdough, raw meat, wood fires. Wear a loincloth, walk crouched low to the ground, carry a spear!
Electricals get ye behind me!

ribbit . . . ribbit . . . ribbit . . . pick up the phone, Kim!

See! The Electricals have created a way to frustrate us. First, they needed to know where each one of us was. Second, we had to have generated a need to have. Third, we need to want to update the device. This creates a lot of energy both pro, and con. Fourth, using a cricket talker during an Electrical storm makes the person gay! Added stresses, more Electrical energy, additional controversy. This expands into ordinary life. Now, when a person looks at their spouse, and they have friends, we really have to wonder.
So, even if the other person does not have a cricket talker, the doubt generated by the other partner contributes to the electrical well being of the Electricals. We lose all the way around.
We never needed one before, now it seems like some cannot live without one!
I feel, the human race is finishing second. We go to an outlet, or see an ad, and we wonder if maybe we should get one. What do we sign up for anyway? Why do we pay so much for just talking? What does anyone have to say that is worth our grandchildren"s freedom?
Ever stand in line, on an hot day, with tired feet, on sticky concrete, and just before it is your turn, someone's cricket talker makes a strange sound and the person you were waiting for says
"Excuse Me" and picks up the dagonned thing, speaks into this matchbook with flashing lights, scrambles up what you were waiting for. You then have to go into another line and wait to have the same thing repeated just to have that person tell you to go to the first line!
What price for my soul?
This all started with Gloria Steinman. Even she repented in the end. Now, instead of being individuals, we have to learn some code! Who made up the code! THE ELECTRICALS! We are their batteries. If we just mellow out, they will run down just like the EverReady Bunny on import batteries. We will win just by talking face to face. Kinda like the old days. I think it was the Radar Range that really started it all. We put FM transmitters in a box in our kitchens and expected everything will turn out ok. It was the beginning of the end. We had the chance then, when it was only a small group. We did not.
Now we even drive automobiles that turn into marshmellows and explode when we have a parking accident, and we pay extra for that.
What have we done?

If you got a daughter who seems to get glazed eyes, and has one of those things stuck to her head, it is time for definate action! If a son is stuck to one, it is too late. The change has already begun.
Wait untill you daughter, or wife is asleep. Sneak up on her with a Maglight on high power. Get the flashlight ready, have needle nose pliers handy, yell real loudly, snap on the flashlight, look for the shadow in the red spot. When you see the red spot and shadow, jam the needle nose pliers in her nose and yank out that thing that looks like an hair.
If it is your wife, as soon as she calms down, you can explain, or show her some of the threads. She will understand. If it is your daughter, you will have to explain how you are protecting her future, show her the threads, and explain how it is good to not be like the others. Mostly you will have to reassure her you did it for her own good. That Electricals live in the wiring in the house and they come out through the wall sockets at night to drink from her synaptic responses.
I mean, if she can stop the blinking on the VCR without putting electrical tape over the blinking, she can understand the subtlties of this covert warfare. Explain to her, it is like popping a zit with Channel Lock pliers. It has to be done even though it is unconventional.
Just like getting the zit, this will seem not so unusual once she feels the difference with the chip removed. She will understand. Explain to her why making tinfoil hats are actually arming ourselves against the common foe, and 9volt batteries are insurance against what dentists do.
The real trick is to not let them know or the chip will protect itself.