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Post by takilasunrise on Dec 8, 2006 9:49:45 GMT -5
I was just checking out a website: donandmikewebsite.com and I wanted to share it with you........... One of the radio hosts "blogged" the following, and I thought it was hilarious. And I KNOW Earthdog would agree with this article! "Minivans: All right, it's been a long time since I've addressed this on the air, but it needs to be said, BEWARE OF THE MINIVAN!!! I now have the longest commute on the show, and that makes me the most qualified person to warn you about this imminent threat to national safety. Minivans and those who drive them, are the most dangerous people in the world. I will not try to convince you of this, because it is not a theory, it is a FACT! and you are just going to have to trust me. I will now list the characteristics of the modern day minivan driver, so you can be aware, and avoid them at all costs: 1. Minivans average the lowest speeds of all vehicles in the far left lane. 2. Minivans are driven with the largest numbers of bad children as passengers. 3. Minivan drivers all have attention deficit disorder. 4. Minivan drivers CANNOT operate their vehicle and a cell phone simultaneously. 5. Minivans will significantly acclerate ONLY if they think they are being passed. 6. Minivans will come to a complete stop whenever you follow too closely. 7. Minivans change lanes AT WILL AND WITHOUT WARNING. 8. Minivan drivers and their families eat all of their meals in their cars. 9. Minivan drivers DO NOT have peripheral vision. This last one is most important, please memorize it! 10. ANYONE WHO PURCHASES A MINIVAN...HAS BEEN HYPNOTIZED! Good night and good luck, Mike O'Meara" |
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Post by Toad on Dec 8, 2006 18:41:06 GMT -5
Guess I better buy a minivan.
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Post by krazydiamond on Dec 8, 2006 19:47:27 GMT -5
5 years ago, i (we) would have agreed with that....being owners of "cool" summer cars and functional four wheel drive winter rats. but about three years ago (cuz it ain't quite paid off yet), my husband decided he "needed" one, minivan, that is...earth to mothership...
i was the lucky one to pick up the vehicle from the dealer and felt like i should be wearing a disguise so NOONE would know it was me driving said awful craft. (kinda like riding a Honda in front if a group of Harleys).
and it felt like the USS Enterprise too. bloated bulbous cranberry turd on wheels......but, i've become accustomed to being able to fit mass quantities of stuff in it and the ubiquitous power of opening and closing most doors and hatches remotely.....(paid extra for that).
i admit it, although not proud of it, i own a minivan. it was his fault, really...in my mind i still am driving a two door red sports car.
KD
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WarrenA
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since November 2003
Posts: 1,530
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Post by WarrenA on Dec 9, 2006 0:18:23 GMT -5
When I first started painting we drove a Chev Caprice Classic STATION WAGON when it arrived at 275,000 miles we bought a mini van it gets better mileage BUT it doesn't hold near the cargo as the old wagon and the suspension on the van isn't near heavy enough. I miss that old wagon
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bitterbrook
noticing nice landscape pebbles
Always remember STEP NUMBER ONE!
Member since September 2006
Posts: 99
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Post by bitterbrook on Dec 9, 2006 3:41:57 GMT -5
I'm on my third Dodge Caravan.
Bought the first one in 1983 for $13,000 when they were hot off the production line and the first minivan made anywhere. It was the perfect automobile for me at the time, as I had a small daughter and did a lot of driving then. The space between the middle seat and the door was the perfect location for the potty chair. Damn thing drove like a car and was shorter than my Caprice Classic, thus easier to maneuver and park. I put over 250,000 miles on that beast. Learned how to drive and talk on the cell phone at the same time in that one.
Caravan #2 was bought on a whim just because it was there. Caravan #1 was still working fine, although one steamy day in Louisiana the headliner just let go overnight and fell completely. I "fixed" it by pinning it to the roof every six inches or so. Looked like crap but at least it was back up! When I committed to buy it, the dealer (without my knowledge or consent) moved all my stuff from the old van into the new van and took the old van to an undisclosed location, and I never got to say goodbye. This van had the advantage of having built-in child seats in the middle row of seats, which was a feature worth its weight in Pampers. I put over 250,000 miles on that one.
I bought van #3 (a GRAND Caravan) because my wife felt she needed a covered vehicle in which to cart home the bags of cow manure from the nursery. These vans cost a bit more than the $13,000 I paid for van #1, but price aside, they will hold a sh*tload of manure... or pine straw, or plants, or lumber, or ROCKS for that matter. The man who invented the "stow & go" seats in the Caravan should have Budweiser write a "real men of genius" jingle for him; he made it possible for my wife to decide at a moment's notice that it was time for another van load of cow manure and make it happen without having to go back home and pull the seats out of the van. I learned how to talk on the cell phone and change lanes while driving in this one.
Hell. If you can't talk on a cell phone, eat a Big Mac, smoke a Winston and read the paper while you're driving, you shouldn't be on the road in the first place! (I have the urge to shout here, "Wake up, A-murr-ica!")
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Post by cina on Dec 9, 2006 8:46:44 GMT -5
I own a minivan, A lot of bad children, Yes we eat all weekend meals in it, but I don't drive slow. Yes I have tried to run people over in it most the time 15 to 16 year olds in Wal-mart parking lots. My little van made the hills in Fairburned SD with no probs and hauled more rocks then BNSF so I may not like being a Minivan Mom but hell I don't mind being a minivan Rock Hound..
Cina
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KG1960
has rocks in the head
Member since August 2008
Posts: 512
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Post by KG1960 on Dec 9, 2006 12:11:40 GMT -5
I have a 11 year old Ford Areostar and am very happy with it. I just made a trip to Denver and back a couple of months ago, and it ran great. I drove it a bit over the average speed of the other vehicles on the road (I-80) - no problems. It's a lot easier to manuver than some big old SUV (and easier on the gas).
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Post by BAZ on Dec 9, 2006 18:04:52 GMT -5
2001 Chevy Astro here, no kids. Just 4 dogs and a lot of rocks and gear. They are great camping vehicles with the seats out and with the seats in they make for a nice "limo" seating 9. And the Astro hauls "A".
Got my eye on the Dodge Sprinter with the roof conversion, I have ideas of creating a custom camper van out of it.
Mini vans and their owners get a bad rap! Just like guys who own Corvettes are making up for their small... oh never mind.
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Post by takilasunrise on Dec 11, 2006 15:03:43 GMT -5
Earthdog found out the hard way about # 6.......Jaguars, minivans and trains just don't mix!
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earthdog
Cave Dweller 
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Dec 12, 2006 20:33:34 GMT -5
Your so right. The rearend of minivans do NOT agree with the frontends of Jaguars.. Here is proof, (pic. taken with cell phone) Before picture,  Minivan and the train, look, not much damage to rear of $500 van.  Jaguar getting pulled off minivan, I cried like a baby when I watched this. I'm there in the white/black checked jacket, looking away from my baby.  Hurt "leaping cat",  And the end result of messin with a minivan,  This is what I should have messed with a minivan with,  |
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Post by docone31 on Dec 12, 2006 21:29:31 GMT -5
I just got my Burban rebuilt. It is a 1987 454, definately full size. It is rated to tow 45,000lbs, and hitch 12,500lbs.
I built the engine to 502cu. Stroker crank, Crane 134112 cam and lifter set, with roller rockers. The rear is Posi-3:11. Lopey idle, TBI intake with ported heads. All done, with so far 2000 miles on it, 25mpg!
At the tow weight she has, emissions is not an issue. I just had her checked and she passed 2005 emissions.
650hp, 502 cube, 25mpg and passes the sniff test, even when I do not legally need to.
We love her. She has an empty weight of 8200lbs with full torsion suspension. My wife drives her and when she is idleing around in a parking lot, even the Harley boys look.
We are getting a full push/brush guard made, and the bug shield on the hood is getting blasted, backwards,
"Granny's Rice Cruncher"
Hehehehehe.
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daddysassygirl
off to a rocking start
Member since October 2006
Posts: 3
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Post by daddysassygirl on Dec 12, 2006 23:34:04 GMT -5
I loved my Dodge Caravan, especially when we were taking 3 kids cross-country on vacation. It didn't seem to have a problem with speed, at least the state troopers in 3 states didn't think so while they were writing my tickets!
ED doesn't like anything unless it's built for speed, it would seem. I hope no-one was hurt too badly in that little "meeting."
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