Post by karenfh on Jan 28, 2007 18:05:52 GMT -5
I'm blond, love the blond jokes. Got a decent IQ, lots of common sense (there is a difference ;D). Replied to the previous post, but thought this deserved its own post. So, lets pick on brunettes and redheads!
Here, I'll start (and please take this as the fun intended):
The Brunette, Blonde And Red Head Do The BreaststrokeThere was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina
Doing only the breaststroke.
The only three women who entered the race were a Brunette
A Redhead and a Blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up on the shore; She was declared the fastest breaststroker.
About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the Brunette finally came ashore
And promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, She replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser
But I think those two other girls were using their arms."
Married with children
The brunette had been married about a year. One day she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy.
He didn't know how to react, so he started jumping up and down along with her.
"Why are we so happy?" he asked?
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about!"
She stopped, breathless from all the jumping up and down.
"I'm pregnant!" she gasped.
The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for quite a while.
He grabbed her, and kissed her. "Wow, that is wonderful," "I couldn't be happier!"
Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more."
"What do you mean more?", he asked
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
He was amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant.
"How do you that," he asked?
"It was easy," she said. "I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit."
"Both tests came out positive!"
Other fun stuff
Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes
Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it
Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible
Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. "Has the blonde left yet?"
Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation
Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage
Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable
Q. How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
A. Check her for a pulse
Q. What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
A. A brunette rabbit
Q. What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
A. At least the trash gets taken out once a week
Q. Why does it take 5 brunettes to change a light bulb ?
A. To help out the blonde that's been tryin' for weeks
Q. What's a brunette that has dyed her hair ?
A. Artificial intelligence
Q. How do you recognize a brunette at the airport?
A. She's the one throwing bread at the airplanes
Q. Why does a brunette have a see-through lunchbox?
A. To know whether she's coming from or going to the office
Q. Why does a brunette have curtains on her PC?
A. To open windows
Q. Why does a brunette throw water on her keyboard?
A. To surf the internet
Q. Why was the first football stadium sketched out on a brunette's chest?
A. Because they needed a level playing field
Q. Why do brunettes put ice in their nose before they go to work?
A. So their lunch won't spoil
Q. How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?
A. By studying what oil spills did to seaweed
Q. Why can't brunettes `tease' their hair?
A. Because it's not funny
Q. How can a brunette get lost in a crowd of three?
A. It's easy... if one-third of the crowd is blonde
Corn field
A brunette is sitting in a canoe in the middle of a corn field rowing
An older brunette drives by and yells at her out the window
"It's you young brunettes that make us look so dumb
If I knew how to swim, I would swim out there and tip you over!!"
Anyone up for redheads?
Here, I'll start (and please take this as the fun intended):
The Brunette, Blonde And Red Head Do The BreaststrokeThere was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina
Doing only the breaststroke.
The only three women who entered the race were a Brunette
A Redhead and a Blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up on the shore; She was declared the fastest breaststroker.
About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the Brunette finally came ashore
And promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, She replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser
But I think those two other girls were using their arms."
Married with children
The brunette had been married about a year. One day she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy.
He didn't know how to react, so he started jumping up and down along with her.
"Why are we so happy?" he asked?
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about!"
She stopped, breathless from all the jumping up and down.
"I'm pregnant!" she gasped.
The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for quite a while.
He grabbed her, and kissed her. "Wow, that is wonderful," "I couldn't be happier!"
Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more."
"What do you mean more?", he asked
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
He was amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant.
"How do you that," he asked?
"It was easy," she said. "I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit."
"Both tests came out positive!"
Other fun stuff
Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes
Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it
Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible
Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. "Has the blonde left yet?"
Q. What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A. The invitation
Q. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A. A hostage
Q. Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
A. The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable
Q. How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
A. Check her for a pulse
Q. What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
A. A brunette rabbit
Q. What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
A. At least the trash gets taken out once a week
Q. Why does it take 5 brunettes to change a light bulb ?
A. To help out the blonde that's been tryin' for weeks
Q. What's a brunette that has dyed her hair ?
A. Artificial intelligence
Q. How do you recognize a brunette at the airport?
A. She's the one throwing bread at the airplanes
Q. Why does a brunette have a see-through lunchbox?
A. To know whether she's coming from or going to the office
Q. Why does a brunette have curtains on her PC?
A. To open windows
Q. Why does a brunette throw water on her keyboard?
A. To surf the internet
Q. Why was the first football stadium sketched out on a brunette's chest?
A. Because they needed a level playing field
Q. Why do brunettes put ice in their nose before they go to work?
A. So their lunch won't spoil
Q. How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?
A. By studying what oil spills did to seaweed
Q. Why can't brunettes `tease' their hair?
A. Because it's not funny
Q. How can a brunette get lost in a crowd of three?
A. It's easy... if one-third of the crowd is blonde
Corn field
A brunette is sitting in a canoe in the middle of a corn field rowing
An older brunette drives by and yells at her out the window
"It's you young brunettes that make us look so dumb
If I knew how to swim, I would swim out there and tip you over!!"
Anyone up for redheads?
