Stefan,
For what it's worth,,,,,,,,
For over 15 years my wife and I had no life at all.Our 2 daughters moved in and out.Got married,divorced,married,divorced,married.
They drank and one was on drugs as well.
Every time they either got married or divorced the moved in with us.Every time they did that they also brought in a new grandchild.
The husbands all had jobs if you could call them that but nothing one would want to make a career out of.One husband was a drug dealer so he didn't have to work.
If all of this wasn't bad enough my wife's father lost his house,was flat broke and had nowhere to live.Yup,,,,he moved in too!Shortly after he moved in he had kidney probs,a 5 way heart by-pass and a bunch of other medical probs.He slept on a hospital bed in our brand new living room and had several "mistakes" on out new wall to wall carpet.It stunk to high heaven as well!! I had to empty his porto-potty first thing when I came home from work for almost 2 years.
By the way.My wife and I paid for EVERYTHING with my father-in-law and also our daughters.Food,car insurance,room and board with A/C and there own heat zones.The all lived with us free and I even gave my FIL a weekly allowance!!!!!
I think I've said enough for you to get the picture.
My wife and I fought a lot just because and life was a living hell.To make things worse my wife lost her job and mine was hanging by a thread! I was drinking more and more up to the tune of a quart of Bacardi Rum a day and I don't know how I functioned!
I finally straightened my act out after totaling out my 13th car and being plastered.It was a head on and NOT very good at all!
My wife and I have never given up on each other or our family.My wife is my wife till I die and so are my kids!
Our youngest daughter is now 36 and we still have shaky times with her.Two years ago she OD'd and was also drunk.She was rushed to the ER and her heart beat was down to 8/min. !! We almost lost her!
She is doing good now but we never know from day to day how she will be.
Our oldest daughter was a total drunk but to our knowledge never did drugs.
Our son was also a drunk!!
Our oldest daughter has just last week received her BS and is going for her masters degree! She landed a job starting at 80k/year with all the bennies! She and her husband who is a VP in the medical field bought 2 new SUV'S and a new home!To say the least they are doing fantastic.
Our son runs his own sheet metal business and is married to an accountant.They have a brand new home the he built and are starting to build another on a private lake here in CT.His "portfolio" tells him he can retire at age 45!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As you can see 2 of our kids are doing fantastic and 1 is still up in the air.We can only help and pray for #3 but will NEVER abandon her!
Out of this whole mess,my wife and I have 6 grandchildren and 3 step's!We spoil them rotten!! We have a blast with them!I'm 63 and act more like a kid with them then a kid would!!The way I figure it.Their parents can play adult for a while, while I play like a kid!! This in my mind is called pay back!! LOL
We all have Sunday dinner here every week and talk about the times that we have had,both good and bad!We are a VERY close family and have always helped one an other without question!
My wife and I have been called saps by other family members and also by friends.We don't have any money left for the "Golden Years" as we have spent it all on our "tenants".We will NEVER have the retirement we had planned for so many years as we will be living on my small pension and SS so our dreams of traveling around the Country and seeing the Grand Canyon,Yellowstone,etc. will stay as dreams.We have given up some of the best years of our lives so that our family can BE a family!
No one said life would be easy and it surely hasn't been for my wife and I but ya know what??
We'd do it allllllllllll over again in a heart beat!!The good and the bad!!
Help YOUR family stay a family!Don't give up on any of them including yourself!!
Too many families give up on each other today because it's the easy way out.Suffer a little and in the end you WILL be rewarded for it as we have been!!
Take care and God Bless,,,,,
Gramps!! ;D
You aint in this boat alone!!
connrock
Tom
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