Post by Lady B on Jul 24, 2007 11:51:20 GMT -5
These might already be posted here somewhere but I just got a copy and thought I would share...
Lady B
_____________________
Laws of Life
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, Your nose
will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you are
in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
dramatically when you are with someone you don't want
to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.
Law of Bio-mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
Law of the Theater:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last
until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they
will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: (this one is true every time!)
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law:
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, By the time you get there you'll feel
better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay
sick.
And just remember: Ain't no law worth making, if it ain't worth breaking.
Lady B
_____________________
Laws of Life
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, Your nose
will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you are
in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
dramatically when you are with someone you don't want
to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.
Law of Bio-mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
Law of the Theater:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from
the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last
until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they
will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: (this one is true every time!)
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law:
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, By the time you get there you'll feel
better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay
sick.
And just remember: Ain't no law worth making, if it ain't worth breaking.
