Post by hobopuppy on Nov 13, 2007 4:42:40 GMT -5
You guys don't actually have to read this but I just need to clear my head. Hoping it'll help me sleep.
My father fell and broke his hip and collar bone on Oct 29th. He never was in the best of health to begin with. Already in complete kidney failure and has to be on dialysis. A diabetic and a very bad heart to boot. My father chose to go to a hospital that is a two hour round trip for me. Why? Cause he can get his dialysis right there at the hospital. Can't blame him for that. I'm feeling like a bad daughter because I can't be up there with him everyday or even every other day. I've got three kids (4, 3, and 9months) and I don't have a babysitter. I did until he fell and broke his hip and collar bone.
I'm getting flack from his family saying that I should be up there and not to give those who have been there for him grief. I'm no longer speaking to two of his sisters because they have done a terrible job of helping me out with staying informed. Case and point. My father falls at 5am, I don't hear about it until well after 6:30. I find out that my Grandfather called all of his sisters right after he fell and was taken by amblunance but he didn't call me. I'm his only child and if it gets to the point that my Dad can't make his own decisions those decisions fall back on me. Then after several days of being the hospital I call up there one evening and ask to be transferred to his room. Instead of getting my Dad I get the ICU nurse. Excuse me, why am I talking to an ICU nurse? Why hasn't anyone called me to tell me that he was moved to the ICU? Better yet, why hasn't anyone called me to tell me there was a big enough problem that he needed to go to the ICU? My Grandfather and two of his sisters were there when he went to the ICU. I called and left a rather pissy voicemail on my aunts phone which turns out pisses everyone off. Whoopie. My other aunt calls my cell at 6:30am and pisses my husband off to no end as he has to get up to work. She was being a chicken and knew that the odds of me answering my phone at that hour were slim. Therefore knowing that she could leave a voicemail. Rather snotty one. Telling me that I shouldn't ruffle feather of those who have been there for him, not to use my kids as an excuse not to be there, and that it doesn't look good for me. Well bite me. My husband calls her back that night to give her hell for calling so early in the morning just to give me sh*t and waking everyone up. You call someones house that early in the morning it better be an emergency. Then I find out that one of Dad's sisters were trying to make or at least talk about arrangements for Dad once he leaves the hospital. That annoyed me to no end because it's not her place. So I inform the hospital social worker of my concerns. My Dad gives me a pin number (you have to have a pin number in order to talk with the nurses and doctors regarding the care of patient). That I guess has pissed off everyone else and they seem to think that just because I have this stupid 4 digit pin that I am all of a sudden connect mentally to the doctor and nurses. I drew up a Durable Power of Attorney and showed it to my Dad and asked him if he would be willing to sign it in case he wasn't able to make his own decisions and he was willing to but nobody in the hospital can or at least not the forms that I got. So now I have to get different forms. *Sigh* I'm not even convinced that my Dad is actually going to pull though this. Even if he gets out of that bed and able to go home I know that he'll just lay around and not doing anything. I don't feel like can be there 24/7 as I do have three kids, a working husband in a demanding field, animals, and a home to care for. I do what I can and sometimes I don't feel like it's good enough. Tonight I get a call from my Grandfather telling me that my Dad's old girlfriend called him up and told him that she had just gotten off the phone with Dad and that he was crying and very upset. She didn't have my number so she wanted Grandpa to call me. So he does and I call the hospital and talk to the nurse. His white count is up so he's got an infection going on someplace in his body. They wanted to do a cath to get some urine out of his bladder and my Dad was dead set on not having it done. Said he'd rather kick the bucket. The nurse made me laugh though when she told me he was in "Time Out". So I have finish getting information from her and have her transfer me into his room. Dad's crying and all upset. I can barely understand him. I try and talk him into having the cath done but didn't have enough ammo. So I call my hubby (he's a physician with a double degree in Internal Medicine and Pediatrics) and tell him the story and have him give me more ammo. I called my Dad back and got him to the point where he says he'll think about having the cath done. WOOHOO, at least I got him that far. Skip ahead, he had it done and even though it hurt at least it's done and over with. But anyway, I'm so lost it's not even funny anymore. I'm trying my best and I can't count on family members to help keep me informed. Family members who no longer work and whose kids are all grown. I'm 23 years old and already I'm trying to figure out how to take care of my three kids AND my father. Somethings not fair here. Pitty party at my place I know. I know that others manage several kids but I don't think that my Dad needs (as much as he enjoys seeing them) two kids running around his hospital bed and playing with buttons or my hearing my youngest cry because she's tired or hungry or just sick of being held. If my husband takes a day off that means that roughly 24 patients have to be rescheduled and the schedule wasn't so pretty to begin with. I call Dad every day, sometimes more than once to see how things are going. I talk to the nurses to get info and have my husband get the other medical stuff to translate back into english. I just don't feel like I can please anyone or get any help from his family as far as keeping me uptodate. It's a giant pain in the a$$
Then also tonight my phone rings at 10:22pm. Who the hell is calling me at this hour? My husbands mom. *Sigh* There's a lot of background here that I'll spare my fingers from typing out. She wants to talk to my husband. Yeah right. After confirming things with my husband before I get on the phone I answer it. She wants to ask him a medical question. I'm sorry but he's busy working on office stuff. Long story short she doesn't get past me and gets rather pissy telling me I'm not being very cooperative. Eventually hangs up on me. I don't like his parents and I'm fairly sure they don't like me. Let me check to see if I care, one moment please.............Nope don't care.
So fun, fun, fun, f'ing fun with family. I read in our local paper something not that long ago that made me laugh. "To be related is merely an accident of DNA". Ain't that the truth.
Anyway, sorry if anyone actually took the time to read this but I do feel a bit better after typing it all out. Then there always will be tomorrow when something else will happen. *Sigh*. Does life ever get any easier?
Also sorry if there are typos or missed words or out of place words. I don't really feel like reading all that again.
It's almost 5am and hopefully I'll be able to fall asleep now.
-Stacey
My father fell and broke his hip and collar bone on Oct 29th. He never was in the best of health to begin with. Already in complete kidney failure and has to be on dialysis. A diabetic and a very bad heart to boot. My father chose to go to a hospital that is a two hour round trip for me. Why? Cause he can get his dialysis right there at the hospital. Can't blame him for that. I'm feeling like a bad daughter because I can't be up there with him everyday or even every other day. I've got three kids (4, 3, and 9months) and I don't have a babysitter. I did until he fell and broke his hip and collar bone.
I'm getting flack from his family saying that I should be up there and not to give those who have been there for him grief. I'm no longer speaking to two of his sisters because they have done a terrible job of helping me out with staying informed. Case and point. My father falls at 5am, I don't hear about it until well after 6:30. I find out that my Grandfather called all of his sisters right after he fell and was taken by amblunance but he didn't call me. I'm his only child and if it gets to the point that my Dad can't make his own decisions those decisions fall back on me. Then after several days of being the hospital I call up there one evening and ask to be transferred to his room. Instead of getting my Dad I get the ICU nurse. Excuse me, why am I talking to an ICU nurse? Why hasn't anyone called me to tell me that he was moved to the ICU? Better yet, why hasn't anyone called me to tell me there was a big enough problem that he needed to go to the ICU? My Grandfather and two of his sisters were there when he went to the ICU. I called and left a rather pissy voicemail on my aunts phone which turns out pisses everyone off. Whoopie. My other aunt calls my cell at 6:30am and pisses my husband off to no end as he has to get up to work. She was being a chicken and knew that the odds of me answering my phone at that hour were slim. Therefore knowing that she could leave a voicemail. Rather snotty one. Telling me that I shouldn't ruffle feather of those who have been there for him, not to use my kids as an excuse not to be there, and that it doesn't look good for me. Well bite me. My husband calls her back that night to give her hell for calling so early in the morning just to give me sh*t and waking everyone up. You call someones house that early in the morning it better be an emergency. Then I find out that one of Dad's sisters were trying to make or at least talk about arrangements for Dad once he leaves the hospital. That annoyed me to no end because it's not her place. So I inform the hospital social worker of my concerns. My Dad gives me a pin number (you have to have a pin number in order to talk with the nurses and doctors regarding the care of patient). That I guess has pissed off everyone else and they seem to think that just because I have this stupid 4 digit pin that I am all of a sudden connect mentally to the doctor and nurses. I drew up a Durable Power of Attorney and showed it to my Dad and asked him if he would be willing to sign it in case he wasn't able to make his own decisions and he was willing to but nobody in the hospital can or at least not the forms that I got. So now I have to get different forms. *Sigh* I'm not even convinced that my Dad is actually going to pull though this. Even if he gets out of that bed and able to go home I know that he'll just lay around and not doing anything. I don't feel like can be there 24/7 as I do have three kids, a working husband in a demanding field, animals, and a home to care for. I do what I can and sometimes I don't feel like it's good enough. Tonight I get a call from my Grandfather telling me that my Dad's old girlfriend called him up and told him that she had just gotten off the phone with Dad and that he was crying and very upset. She didn't have my number so she wanted Grandpa to call me. So he does and I call the hospital and talk to the nurse. His white count is up so he's got an infection going on someplace in his body. They wanted to do a cath to get some urine out of his bladder and my Dad was dead set on not having it done. Said he'd rather kick the bucket. The nurse made me laugh though when she told me he was in "Time Out". So I have finish getting information from her and have her transfer me into his room. Dad's crying and all upset. I can barely understand him. I try and talk him into having the cath done but didn't have enough ammo. So I call my hubby (he's a physician with a double degree in Internal Medicine and Pediatrics) and tell him the story and have him give me more ammo. I called my Dad back and got him to the point where he says he'll think about having the cath done. WOOHOO, at least I got him that far. Skip ahead, he had it done and even though it hurt at least it's done and over with. But anyway, I'm so lost it's not even funny anymore. I'm trying my best and I can't count on family members to help keep me informed. Family members who no longer work and whose kids are all grown. I'm 23 years old and already I'm trying to figure out how to take care of my three kids AND my father. Somethings not fair here. Pitty party at my place I know. I know that others manage several kids but I don't think that my Dad needs (as much as he enjoys seeing them) two kids running around his hospital bed and playing with buttons or my hearing my youngest cry because she's tired or hungry or just sick of being held. If my husband takes a day off that means that roughly 24 patients have to be rescheduled and the schedule wasn't so pretty to begin with. I call Dad every day, sometimes more than once to see how things are going. I talk to the nurses to get info and have my husband get the other medical stuff to translate back into english. I just don't feel like I can please anyone or get any help from his family as far as keeping me uptodate. It's a giant pain in the a$$Then also tonight my phone rings at 10:22pm. Who the hell is calling me at this hour? My husbands mom. *Sigh* There's a lot of background here that I'll spare my fingers from typing out. She wants to talk to my husband. Yeah right. After confirming things with my husband before I get on the phone I answer it. She wants to ask him a medical question. I'm sorry but he's busy working on office stuff. Long story short she doesn't get past me and gets rather pissy telling me I'm not being very cooperative. Eventually hangs up on me. I don't like his parents and I'm fairly sure they don't like me. Let me check to see if I care, one moment please.............Nope don't care.
So fun, fun, fun, f'ing fun with family. I read in our local paper something not that long ago that made me laugh. "To be related is merely an accident of DNA". Ain't that the truth.
Anyway, sorry if anyone actually took the time to read this but I do feel a bit better after typing it all out. Then there always will be tomorrow when something else will happen. *Sigh*. Does life ever get any easier?
Also sorry if there are typos or missed words or out of place words. I don't really feel like reading all that again.
It's almost 5am and hopefully I'll be able to fall asleep now.
-Stacey
