nancyf
has rocks in the head
Wired Cowgirl
Member since April 2007
Posts: 629
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Post by nancyf on Nov 15, 2009 9:38:51 GMT -5
If I have EVER said anything to hurt someones feelings, I ASSURE you that was NOT my intent. I say this, because I am a very sensitive person and can be easily hurt myself. So...I try very hard not to do it myself. If I can't say something nice...I don't say anything at all. That is just me. Anywho, I bring this up, because it seems that some may have construed my comment about a persons work as not being "new" as a derogetory statement even though I praised the workmanship. Indeed, it was awesome and I stated that. Let me tell WHY I said that it wasn't "new". When I was starting out...I made a piece that I was VERY proud of. I had been on a small forum for quite some time and knew everyone quite well. They just loved it. However, I had recently joined another forum and when I showed it there...I got "That isn't new...hardly anything is new. You probably saw it somewhere and just copied it." I was DEVESTATED! I had done NO such thing. I just wanted to help this person incase they showed it on another forum where there were a lot of seasoned wire jewellers. They can be a bit blunt. Some here may know what I mean. Not all forums are as warm and caring as this one is. Some here know me and know that I am not a mean person. I do have many years of experience with making wire jewelry. I am not bragging...it is just a fact. If you ever get to meet me...you will instantly know I am not snobby or selfish. I am just a country gal that loves animals and loves to help people when I can. I genuinely try to help others learn wirework when ever I can. ( www.keystonejewelry.com/make-jewelry.htm ) I am not always very good with trying to explain myself with typing words. I will try to do better if ya'll don't mind me sticking around. Hugs to all!
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Post by Toad on Nov 15, 2009 9:53:30 GMT -5
I'm not sure what you're referring to, but by all means stick around. They haven't kicked me out yet and I'm sure I've said far worse than anything you think you may have done. None of my comments are mean-spirited. I just comment on how I think an item could have been improved or done differently - in the interest of helping someone else progress. But it is just my opinion and I might be wrong anyway - just trying to get folks to see stuff from another angle. A bunch of comments saying how much you love something might help build confidence, but if you can give them a tip as well, that could help them produce even better works in the future. I enjoy seeing all the work here and couldn't do it myself. But if I can help someone cool, I never mean to offend either.
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Post by superioragates on Nov 15, 2009 10:45:52 GMT -5
I don't know about everyone else, but I actually DO appreciate someone saying some thing to me if it don't look "right". For instance - Toad once said, "nice work, stones compliment the wire work well.." now for some this may not have been anything, but for ME, it said...too much wire, takes away from the stone. At first I was a little miffed, but in about 2 minutes I realized what he was saying, and trying to say it nicely, without offending me. I did choose NOT to respond, however, only because I was afraid anything I might say would sound @#itchy, and sound like I was being rude to him, and I didn't want him to think that. I don't mind a little criticism, when put tactfully, and without intentionally trying to make the person feel badly about it. What I do mind is when someone is rude and hateful. I agree with Toad, stick around, and don't worry about it too much. Honest mistakes are made here, and everywhere in the world, things get said that maybe a person didn't mean, and sometimes we all flub up and say something in a WAY we didn't mean it to be said, it just sounds that way. I am sure that anything you said was probably misconstrued, and misunderstood by the person you said it to. Do them a favor, send an apology by PM, you have already done it in public, and that should help make any amends necessary. Live and learn I always say. Stay on here, there is a lot to learn, and really some great people, once ya get to know them, and they you. Try to remember that there are a few here who have been burned by people in the past, so they are a bit harder to get to know, but it's mainly because they are nervous about you, and your intentions, it has nothing to do with whether they are nice people or not, it just may take awhile. Marie
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nancyf
has rocks in the head
Wired Cowgirl
Member since April 2007
Posts: 629
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Post by nancyf on Nov 15, 2009 11:15:16 GMT -5
Actually, I have been on here a long time (look at my number of posts). I was gone awhile, as I got a new computer and couldn't find the dang forum! Lots of new people here, so I might be the one being overly sensitive. :blush: I've always known this to be a warm and caring forum. I missed it! Anywho, thanks for ya'lls input. I appreciate it!
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Post by Toad on Nov 15, 2009 13:48:43 GMT -5
Yes, Marie. I remember that wrap and just thought that the wire became the focal point of the piece rather than the rock. Doesn't mean I thought it was bad, just different. It was still beautiful.
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Post by MyNewHobby on Nov 15, 2009 14:18:10 GMT -5
Hi there!!!
I just briefly skimmed through this post and responses and I can only say this ...
I would much rather someone tell me that even though the work is good, there can be improvements. That is why I always say input, comments, suggestions, and criticisms are things I want to hear. But ... there is a right and wrong way to deal with people (from what I can see ... you did nothing wrong).
Now .... with only a small handful of people and I know they are not mean, can sometimes open their mouths without really taking into consideration the person they are talking to. Everyone is different on how they take (and give) input. I am only saying this based upon one or two situations many months back. I have only been here about a year, but I have had a chance to get to know quite a few of the people here. And I have yet to come across anyone that I would consider mean.
Me ... I have a thicker skin than others and take input with a grain of salt.
Like everyone else is saying .... please stick around ... this gives me another person to learn from.
As always .... Julie
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kjohn0102
freely admits to licking rocks
Member since April 2006
Posts: 774
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Post by kjohn0102 on Nov 15, 2009 16:19:34 GMT -5
Nancy-I wouldn't consider any comment from you rude, mean or otherwise! Your work is beautiful and any input you offer I consider invaluable. kj
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Post by NatureNut on Nov 15, 2009 16:59:41 GMT -5
Well, I missed the thread where you made your original comments Nancy, but it sounds like you were doing someone a favor by giving them a heads up that it has been done somewhere, some time, by some body. This could also be taken by the person as a sign that they are on the right track and are able to use it with confidence because it has been tested out. We all get passionate about our creations, and the intense work we put into creating them, enabling sensitivity to run amok inside us sometimes. It's we are like putting a piece of us out there when we post our work. All in all, what you've explained is wonderful and what everyone else is expressing here is equally as wonderful. Thanks everyone! Jo
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mossyrockhound
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since January 2011
Posts: 1,314
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Post by mossyrockhound on Nov 15, 2009 17:47:40 GMT -5
I think I know the thread you are talking about and I didn't see anything wrong with your comment (and no, it wasn't one of my posts). It was constructive & I for one appreciate constructive comments. Like Julie said, we're all here to learn, so if we try to be too politically correct, the meaning of the comment will be cloudy at best, and then how can the person learn? Please stick around - your comments seem to be well thought out. Garry
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Post by frane on Nov 15, 2009 20:30:51 GMT -5
Nancyf, I think you are being too sensitive and hard on yourself. I think I may have read that post but I don't think you were out of line, although I was wondering if you meant that that person had posted it before (Just me being blond). If it was a newbie, they may not realize that it was meant with the best intent but if they stick around, they find that we all mean well. Don't beat yourself up over it! Now, time to get back to creating some of your great items! Fran
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Post by Bikerrandy on Nov 15, 2009 20:36:19 GMT -5
I pretty much say the first thing that comes to mind with little regard and no remorse. Naaaa, not really. ;D
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Larry
spending too much on rocks
Member since June 2008
Posts: 267
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Post by Larry on Nov 15, 2009 21:53:54 GMT -5
A long while ago, I was an aspiring artist. All my friends and family said I was great and I went to events and such with pros and they said it's great and to keep at it. It took me some time but I realized finally that I really wasn't that good. Only one brave person told me as such and I appreciated that one piece of criticism more than all the pats on the back.
When I post here, I ask for the brutal truth, because that's the difference between me getting better and be doing the same old junk.
My take is if somebody puts something up here asking for a critique, it's more damaging to look at it and think there's problems then say 'outstanding' than to actually point out the problem areas. If you think there are areas that need work, all the pats on the back do is keep that person doing work that once they take it outside to strangers will be viewed as so-so.
I'm not saying be mean but being honest should be allowed once something is posted for critiques. At the very least, if there is something posted you think needs help, it's better to not post then to say it's wonderful.
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Post by akansan on Nov 15, 2009 23:25:58 GMT -5
I missed the original thread as well, and I hope you haven't received flack for your comments. Of all the wrappers I've seen through these boards, NancyF's work is the standard I try to live up to - she's an amazingly talented woman! I think you might be being overly sensitive (and I hope you're not responding to anything specific response you received!). I know when I post something, I too wish for honest criticism.
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adrian65
Cave Dweller
Arch to golden memories and to great friends.
Member since February 2007
Posts: 10,786
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Post by adrian65 on Nov 16, 2009 9:23:20 GMT -5
I remember when I posted my very first groove wrap you commented and told me it was a pretty much used system. I was not angry by any means, it's better to know that I just re-invented the wheel rather than brag about it as it would be something unseen.
So here are again my thanks for giving me that info back then, and of course the invitaton to stick around and share your experience with us.
Adrian
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nancyf
has rocks in the head
Wired Cowgirl
Member since April 2007
Posts: 629
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Post by nancyf on Nov 16, 2009 9:38:51 GMT -5
WEll dang...I'm all red. :blush: Thanks all for the comments. It was me I suppose...sensitive...that's me! I didn't want to hurt the persons feelings cause I knew they worked and dreamed hard to come up with the design. However, I fretted over whether or not to say it had been done (I think I did it about 4 years ago). I didn't want to say that either. I just took other posts following mine to mean that I should have kept it to myself. My mistake and again...I am sorry. I thought it was amazing that they did the piece so well...specially since they had only been twisting wire a couple of months or so. Some people are like that. Making wire jewelry comes easy to them. I am on another forum that has a place for critique (honest assessment) and a place for just showing off (pat on the back). That way people know what to expect when they post. ;D I do not like to critique a piece unless it is asked for. If someone one asks for an honest assessment of their piece, I will give it. Otherwise, I will find the good points and praise them for that. Again...THANKS for all the comments!
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nancyf
has rocks in the head
Wired Cowgirl
Member since April 2007
Posts: 629
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Post by nancyf on Nov 16, 2009 9:48:42 GMT -5
Adrian! I remember that...ack, I so hate to tell people things like that. Hey, I do like yours better than any I have seen before...REALLY! Your bails are so nice and neat. While I was gone I think some (ahem) yahoo tried to say he patented that? sheesh..... I just found the forum again and I think the "ordeal" was over with.
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damammy
has rocks in the head
Member since January 2009
Posts: 697
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Post by damammy on Nov 17, 2009 19:50:57 GMT -5
Nancy, I think all wire wrappers know the art has been around for a long time (I have a book from 1972) and someone somewhere has done it. When I say I came up with something different it is because it is different for me ;D. Sometimes our comments are not mean't to offend but when we read it again we can see how it can be took that way. I have been guilty in the last month and had to send a pm to tell the person I was sorry. Donna
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nancyf
has rocks in the head
Wired Cowgirl
Member since April 2007
Posts: 629
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Post by nancyf on Nov 18, 2009 8:31:00 GMT -5
Hugs to you Donna! I know that the written word is easy to miscontrue also. It can be taken in many ways...unfortunately it is the wrong way that stands out sometimes. I try to use the "smilies" to help. ;D I understand what you are saying tho...
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kentuckyrocker
starting to spend too much on rocks
Member since November 2008
Posts: 217
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Post by kentuckyrocker on Nov 18, 2009 9:37:47 GMT -5
On American Idol, I like Simon - I really do.
I haven't posted pics in a long time -the chances are when I post I am already seeing the flaws whether you all do or not. I truly appreciate total honesty - nothing less. If you have tips on how I can avoid the mistakes then please share them. On my design , I will listen - I may not take your advice lol! When making a piece, it comes from the soul- some things just can not be changed. But I will listen and appreciate the time you are taking to share your experience with me, a young un.
If ever I post any that anyone would like to copy, adjust , or improve upon, that would sincerely make my day. I can not think of anything more flattering than that.
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nancyf
has rocks in the head
Wired Cowgirl
Member since April 2007
Posts: 629
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Post by nancyf on Nov 20, 2009 9:37:08 GMT -5
It's hard to remember who appreciates total honesty...so if you stipulate it in your post, you are more likely to get it. I'm not saying people aren't honest with their feedback...just that sometimes we leave things out. As you say...people make things from the heart and unless someone asks for critique...only the good points will be commented on (by me anyway).
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