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Post by rockpickerforever on Mar 14, 2013 17:17:06 GMT -5
Was cleaning out my old emails today, and came across this joke. Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science (Gv mass of 312) Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv) , has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, these are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. Jean
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Sabre52
Cave Dweller
Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,487
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Post by Sabre52 on Mar 14, 2013 17:29:14 GMT -5
*LOL* The composition of that element seems somehow familiar.....Mel
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2013 19:24:12 GMT -5
I had read that before but I get a chuckle out of it every time I read it. Jim
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robsrockshop
has rocks in the head
Member since August 2012
Posts: 715
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Post by robsrockshop on Mar 14, 2013 19:48:22 GMT -5
I bet GV smells like crap too.
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Post by mohs on Mar 15, 2013 12:44:26 GMT -5
ancient alchemy tried to turn lead into gold unfortunately they discovered that you can't turn crap into gold Although Gv keeps trying and once they figure it out the poor will have even less shit mohsty
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Post by jakesrocks on Mar 15, 2013 13:49:08 GMT -5
I think that new element has infiltrated the postal system. I mailed a box to Donnie on the first of the month. Since mailing the box to Florida, it's made it to Washington, Florida, back to Washington, back to Florida, and This morning it was back in Washington. After a week of trying both by computer and phone, I finally reached a human being this morning. But only because I called the local P.O. Maybe in another 2 weeks Donnie will get her box. The Governmentium is alive and well in the U.S.P.S.
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jamesp
Cave Dweller
Member since October 2012
Posts: 36,558
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Post by jamesp on Mar 18, 2013 19:52:39 GMT -5
That's the funniest thing have ever read.And sooooo true.Thanks.It's heavily forwarded in this neck of the woods.I think efficiency is great in any corp or govt or whatever.But waste eats at me and US govt is Governmentium
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Post by Original Admin on Mar 22, 2013 14:58:43 GMT -5
Total classic - I HAD to post that to facebook after a tiny change for the UK government - thanks for that one!
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