Post by rockpickerforever on May 23, 2013 17:04:09 GMT -5
Can you stand a few more? Some of these I heard while I lived in the South, others are new to me. I'm sure there are many, many more. Feel free to add to this thread!
Southern speak
EXCLAIMATIONS:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
"Ahm fixin ta do that."
"He ain't got no more chance than a kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on."
COMPLIMENTS:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies." (Aw, I like that one!)
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me
enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."
THREATS:
"I'll slap you so hard, when you wake up, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-@ss on ya!" (Also said in Texas)
THE WEATHER:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
“It’s so dry the catfish are carrying canteens.”
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintery roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."
DESCRIPTIONS:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
When asked how y'all are doing, “Finer than a frog’s hair split three ways!”
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his @ss was catchin."
INSULTS:
"She's uglier than homemade soap." (Can soup be ugly?)
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued'."
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamster is dead."
"Dumber than a box of rocks."
"Dumber than a sack of hammers."
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart." For instance: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."
Southern speak
EXCLAIMATIONS:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
"Ahm fixin ta do that."
"He ain't got no more chance than a kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on."
COMPLIMENTS:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies." (Aw, I like that one!)
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me
enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."
THREATS:
"I'll slap you so hard, when you wake up, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-@ss on ya!" (Also said in Texas)
THE WEATHER:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
“It’s so dry the catfish are carrying canteens.”
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintery roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."
DESCRIPTIONS:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
When asked how y'all are doing, “Finer than a frog’s hair split three ways!”
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his @ss was catchin."
INSULTS:
"She's uglier than homemade soap." (Can soup be ugly?)
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued'."
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamster is dead."
"Dumber than a box of rocks."
"Dumber than a sack of hammers."
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart." For instance: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."