Red neck fire pit fork lift

Karen's yard

Thought this joke might be appropriate here -

You Might Be a Redneck If...

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.  Caught someone trying to steal parts off one of the "project" cars last year

You come back from the dump with more than you took.  I plead the 5th

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the  guys have it so easy!
same tree to relieve yourselves.

You can't take a nap without at least one hand well - it gets cold!!
tucked inside your pants.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour  see #2

with a fly swatter.

You've ever stolen toilet paper. see #2

There's an expired license plate hanging on your  no - it's on the truck still
living room wall.

You've ever been pumping gas and another customer LOL - yup!
asks you to check his oil.

You think the Bud Bowl is real.  you mean it's not?!

You think "six to ten pounds" on the side of the
Pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.  nope, sorry, will never admit to that one - but I do know people like that!

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off  I did a belly flop off a railroad trestle once - does that count?
the high dive.

You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.  #2

Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.  I gave my 8 & 9 yr old grandkids their first taste of kool-aid last week! (Blended family - not my fault)

You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back  ungrateful wretches - they wanted the good shirt I was going to put on!
and they don't want it.

Your chili's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.  who told?

Turning on your lights involves pulling a string. beats climbing a ladder in the dark to twist the bulb

You have a refrigerator just for beer.  you don't?

Your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture. no comment

The trunk of your car is tied down and you're not   the spare is in the bed of the truck - close enough
hauling anything.

You refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year." I'm a smart redneck - I went to college  (didn't finish - but I went)

You prefer to walk the excess length off your  I ran out of staples
jeans rather than hem them.

Your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her   Mom's a lady - of course she removes the smoke first! 
lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass.

You did not put the pink plastic flamingos in your  gnomes yes - flamingos no
front yard as a joke.

You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.  It's been known to happen

Your Fourth of July cookout has ever been ruined 
because someone got drunk and burned the Spam.   that was a long time ago! can't believe you brought that up again!!