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Post by rockjunquie on Apr 25, 2018 6:30:13 GMT -5
So did you look because it said "nudists" or "stoned"? BOTH! LOL!
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Post by rockpickerforever on May 29, 2018 8:42:12 GMT -5
There goes the neighborhood...
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Post by rockpickerforever on Jun 22, 2018 7:41:14 GMT -5
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Post by rockpickerforever on Jun 25, 2018 16:14:05 GMT -5
Cat owners everywhere can relate to this one... Now, if you could just get them to polish stones for you.
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Post by rockpickerforever on Jun 28, 2018 11:00:35 GMT -5
I think we've all worked for this guy at one time or another...
The Boss My boss pulled up to work today in a brand new Porsche. As he got out of the car, I said to him “Wow, that’s a nice car!”
He notices my admiration and says, “Well, you know what? If you work hard, meet deadlines, and put in more hours, I’ll have an even better one next year.”
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Post by mohs on Jun 28, 2018 11:12:35 GMT -5
Love that honest logic I’ve told quite a few to take this job and shove it po’boy I am Like the bank robbery Everyone is lined up Thief is going down the line saying: Give me everything in your pockets Guy at the end of line hands the guy next to him a bill. Recipient asks ‘what this'? “The twenty bucks I owed you" …mostly
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Post by rockpickerforever on Jun 28, 2018 12:36:11 GMT -5
For all history buffs and old farts...
A 30 year oldie but goodie from Gary Larson.
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Post by aDave on Jun 28, 2018 14:06:39 GMT -5
For all history buffs and old farts...
A 30 year oldie but goodie from Gary Larson. He's my all-time favorite. I remember when I used to get his desk calendars every year.
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Post by rockjunquie on Jun 30, 2018 9:49:30 GMT -5
Sorry in advance:
What does a pig put on his skin to feel better?
Oinkment.
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Post by vegasjames on Jun 30, 2018 13:31:07 GMT -5
Sorry in advance: What does a pig put on his skin to feel better? Oinkment. And birds use tweetments.
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Post by vegasjames on Jun 30, 2018 13:32:15 GMT -5
Why does Ms. Piggy use a vinegar and water douche?
Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.
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Post by parfive on Jun 30, 2018 17:13:38 GMT -5
Frogilingus, eh? Cinderella be jealous.
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Post by vegasjames on Jun 30, 2018 17:37:43 GMT -5
Why was Ms. Piggy unable to speak?
She had a frog in her throat.
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Post by vegasjames on Jun 30, 2018 17:39:08 GMT -5
Did you hear they found one of Michael Jackson's unpublished songs?
It's titled Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me.
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Post by mohs on Jun 30, 2018 17:41:05 GMT -5
as recall Cinderella would turn into a pumpkin at midnight if she didn't leave the ball so I offer this tasty version
Cinderella is at the ball dancing with the charming Prince The toll is about to ring midnight Cinderella makes a mad dash for the door The Prince yells out--
“what you name!?” “Cinderella! What yours? "
“Peter.... Peter…!”
Cinderella pauses & thinks:
I can stay...
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Post by rockpickerforever on Jun 30, 2018 17:49:25 GMT -5
A limerick for you
Nymphomanical Jill Tried a dynamite stick For a thrill, They found her vagina In North Carolina, And bits of her tits In Brazil.
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Post by vegasjames on Jul 1, 2018 16:35:39 GMT -5
How do we know the toothbrush was invested in Arkansas?
Because it is not called a teethbrush.
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Post by vegasjames on Jul 1, 2018 16:36:47 GMT -5
What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
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Post by vegasjames on Jul 1, 2018 16:37:58 GMT -5
What is the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?
The Southern zoos come with recipes in front of the cages.
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Post by rockpickerforever on Jul 2, 2018 15:27:43 GMT -5
Tarzan and Jane
When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex.
“Tarzan not know sex.” he replied.
Jane explained to him what it was.
Tarzan said, “Ohhh… Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.”
Horrified, Jane said, “Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.”
She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.
“Here.” she said, pointing to her privates, “You must put it in here.”
Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her right in the crotch!
Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.
Eventually, she managed to gasp for air and screamed, “What did you do that for?!”
Tarzan replied, “Check for squirrel.”
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