MichiganRocks
starting to spend too much on rocks
"I wasn't born to follow."
Member since April 2007
Posts: 154
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Post by MichiganRocks on Dec 15, 2004 18:57:43 GMT -5
It's kind of funny, I never read this thread till tonight. I must admit, I was a little amazed at the responses. I grew up a hippie, and have never been able to change that. I see things the same way, and I look the same way. But I did grow up in a VERY rural area that was VERY poor, as was my family. Growing up in such a poor environment, you learn a way of life that is quite different from the rest of the world. I make do with what I have, the best way that I can. I don't have anything to do with the police or any other government agency. I take care of myself and my own, and I do it using any means that is required. The people that I worked with always called me a redneck, even with my long hair, beard and earrings. Where I come from, we take care of our own. If that's a redneck, I guess I'm proud to be one.
Ron
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Post by cookie3rocks on Dec 15, 2004 21:51:51 GMT -5
Hi Ron,
In my book and experience, you are not a redneck. You are a sensible human being. And I thank you for that.
cookie
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MichiganRocks
starting to spend too much on rocks
"I wasn't born to follow."
Member since April 2007
Posts: 154
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Post by MichiganRocks on Dec 23, 2004 18:31:42 GMT -5
Dear Billy Joe Bob,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
Your Favorite Aunt
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Post by rockyraccoon on Dec 23, 2004 21:18:00 GMT -5
"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Merry Christmas Buddy."
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Post by cookie3rocks on Dec 24, 2004 0:08:30 GMT -5
It's so sad, yet so true. I must have a reason to be here, but I can only do so much...
I need to go meditate...
cookie
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llanago
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since January 2004
Posts: 1,714
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Post by llanago on Dec 24, 2004 10:17:21 GMT -5
Brett, LOL! I love the pics! Tooo funny! Can't say I have ever seen a redneck sitting on the pot on the front porch, but I have seen alot of pots of the front porch planted with lottsa flowers, and bathtubs! I always thought that was definitely a redneck trait until I saw a pot full of flowers on the porch of a really big, fancy house one time. I figured they won the lottery and had moved up in the world. Dear Billy Joe Bob - Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since. LOL! Nearly fell out of my chair laughing at some of those Rednecks 1 - FBI - 0. That is to funny, except the FBI today would have probably shot him. Evil abounds in class and race everywhere. I am personally aware of more evil being done by people of wealth and status than rednecks. Take a look at DC and that pit of vibers - certainly aren't rednecks, but certainly are evil. And, I'm gonna just leave it at that because I feel a real rant coming on!  And, need to get myself ready to go to work. Now THAT is evil - having to get outside when it's 23 degrees and go to work on Christmas Eve day! The working part isn't so bad, but the getting outside in this cold - BRRRRR. llana |
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MichiganRocks
starting to spend too much on rocks
"I wasn't born to follow."
Member since April 2007
Posts: 154
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Post by MichiganRocks on Dec 25, 2004 7:24:58 GMT -5
Hey Llana, I see you have a new "Texan". Ted Nugent, the "Motor City Madman" now lives just around the corner from G. W.'s place. Ted says that he now has a Texas driver's license, so he's now an official Texan. Is that true?  Ron ps. Sorry Llana, but I just couldn't help myself! ;D  |
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MichiganRocks
starting to spend too much on rocks
"I wasn't born to follow."
Member since April 2007
Posts: 154
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Post by MichiganRocks on Dec 25, 2004 7:42:00 GMT -5
Yup, there he is!  |
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llanago
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since January 2004
Posts: 1,714
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Post by llanago on Dec 25, 2004 9:45:31 GMT -5
Now, Ron, it's not nice to get me all riled up on Christmas morning when I am so full of holiday cheer! Let me get something straight here and don't you forget it! Bush may have a ranch, he may wear a cowboy hat and boots, he may chop his own fire wood, he may know how to ride a horse and he might even have a few cows on his place BUT that don't make him a cowboy and it sure don't make him a Texan! He's a d**n Yankee carpetbagger!! As for Ted Nugent, don't know much about him except he gets up in the face of the gun grabbers and tells 'em how it is! I like him for that, if for no other reason. He sure runs with a shoddy crowd though - Bush and Perry - surely he could find better friends to hang around with! And you know that piece of snowflake obsidian has my pic of Elvis on it, not Bush and Nugent! The shame that you would ruin it like that! You need a good redneck woopin'! ;D llana |
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Post by krazydiamond on Dec 25, 2004 19:31:00 GMT -5
now don't you be calling us all dam yankees, girlfriend....
yes, i live in the ice and snow (We come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. AHHH AHH)
oops sorry, i get a bit side tracked with song lyrics (as you may have noticed)......
but that doesn't make me a poltical nuisance.
go out and buy the new George Carlin audio book, do it for yourself, laugh til you pee your pants.........or not.
KD
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Post by docone31 on Dec 25, 2004 21:42:59 GMT -5
Could I become a political nuisance? I have no clue how, but I would like to try. I want to become globalized. I want to become absorbed into the morass. I want to just agree with opinions I hear on the news programs just because they are on TV and that gives them automatic authority.
I believe, and um, I believe!
Polititians tell the truth and have our interests and future in mind. They also apply conscience to their work.
I know that because the TV told me so.
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Post by cookie3rocks on Dec 26, 2004 0:25:54 GMT -5
Quote, Jack Nickleson:
"It's on the T.V., it must be true."
Politics sucks.
cookie
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Post by krazydiamond on Jan 2, 2005 17:34:40 GMT -5
Jeff Foxworthy's definition ( and i do love the guy) of redneckism as:
"a glorious absence of sophistication"
so maybe we all got a little in us..(even Brits).
KD
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MichiganRocks
starting to spend too much on rocks
"I wasn't born to follow."
Member since April 2007
Posts: 154
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Post by MichiganRocks on Jan 5, 2005 10:13:47 GMT -5
REDNECK REFLECTIONS
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up.
Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya`ll know who ya are...
You might be a redneck if. .
It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God. . "
You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You still say "Christmas" instead of "The Holidays."
You bow your head when someone prays.
You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You know the words to the National Anthem and you aren't afraid to sing along.
You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
You've never burned an American flag.
You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
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MichiganRocks
starting to spend too much on rocks
"I wasn't born to follow."
Member since April 2007
Posts: 154
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Post by MichiganRocks on Jan 5, 2005 11:19:18 GMT -5
Redneck SUV  Redneck Boat  Redneck Horsehoes  |
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Post by docone31 on Jan 5, 2005 16:45:00 GMT -5
Believe it or not, I knew the man throwing the toilet seat. His name was John Chalfant and he lived in Everglades City Fl. He has since passed away from cancer but the photo was taken two years before he was diagnosed.
He moved to Everglades City from Chicago. He was an investment banker, and later retired from the hospitality trades after running several top hotels.
They really did toss toilet seats in the afternoon after several quarts of beer. They got fairly good at it. One day when his wife was holding the baseball bat used as a ringer, they had several quarts of beer. John tossed the toilet seat and got her square in the head.
She went down, I left.
Different.
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MichiganRocks
starting to spend too much on rocks
"I wasn't born to follow."
Member since April 2007
Posts: 154
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Post by MichiganRocks on Jan 5, 2005 17:30:10 GMT -5
Hey Doc, they sound like true rednecks to me!
Ron
ps.
I hope they were padded toilet seats!
pss.
The important question is, what kind of beer were they drinking?
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Post by cookie3rocks on Jan 7, 2005 18:36:16 GMT -5
Well, I guess 8 out of 11 isn't so bad. But I'm still not a redneck. I could add some nasty items to that list, but that would be redundent.
cookie
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Post by rockyraccoon on Mar 29, 2005 23:26:01 GMT -5
well here it is from the creator of ghettopoly which made the news and was pulled off of store shelves, shut out of e-bay and yahoo stores, and sued by monopoly and all that only made his sales skyrocket. www.redneckopoly.com/kim |
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Post by Original Admin on Mar 31, 2005 18:12:26 GMT -5
I can't believe this threads still going. REDNECKOPLY!!! Absolutely great!! Get a trailer and rent it out Hey at least 1 Dollar for landing on the top quality trailer square? Ive died laughing at the pics on this thread time and again. Reminds me of my own attempts to "sail" down the local canal on a large piece of polystyrene (I was a kid though - and we did make it under the legging tunnel Rednecks - LOL - some girl over their has recently written a song aswell about being a redneck - cant remember her name though. We dont have such a classic type over here - or therefore a term. I think ive said it before - "Deliverence" - three men who want to be Rednecks?  Mark |
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And, need to get myself ready to go to work. Now THAT is evil - having to get outside when it's 23 degrees and go to work on Christmas Eve day! The working part isn't so bad, but the getting outside in this cold - BRRRRR. 
