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Post by americanbulldogsnj on Mar 9, 2006 9:02:48 GMT -5
People (non rock type) suck! This woman was ticked off because the bus stops in front of my house sometimes twice to pick up my son. My son is Autistic, he sometimes won't go on the bus the first try so the bus driver (who I love!) goes up the street picks up some more kids and comes back down our street and picks my son up. No biggy right? So this lady pulls along side the bus, while the bus was loading some children, red lights were on the bus at the time (big time fine!!!) and SCREAMED at the bus driver asking her "why does that child (meaning my son!) get special treatment, when my son has to walk to the bus stop!!?". The bus driver told her " You're having a bad day lady, and I'm not dealing with you"...
I got this idiots license plate and looked her up, she lives right around the corner from me! Think I'll pay her a neighborly visit! Sorry had to vent big time!!!! The ignorance and selfishness of people ASTOUNDS me!!!!
Marian
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Post by docone31 on Mar 9, 2006 9:18:47 GMT -5
People can strike a nerve sometimes. The challenges of raising children, let alone challenged children bring out fear in people. I have found, challenged children teach us how to love or neighbor. Sometimes, they can show us how selfish we have become without meaning to, and how it affects people. Sometimes, mean people just suck.
I am sorry you had to experience such unbridled mean.
Creatures of the dark, flee from the light. Do not let your light be tempered by shallow, empowered people. Perhaps, with paying her a visit, you can bring light to her.
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Post by americanbulldogsnj on Mar 9, 2006 9:33:54 GMT -5
Doc, I took a ride over there just now on my cycle, she wasnt home. The cycle ride put it in persective for me, as I rode by her house I noticed it was for sale. I know these people and thier story. Her husband cheated on her, he left, now they have to sell everything. I'm still going to talk to her, but now on a different level. She doesnt know my son has a disability, I'm going to bring that to "light" for her, as you said. I do know they are in the middle of a nasty divorce, and I will remind her there is a light at the end of the tunnel beyond what's going on in her world right now, I know I've been through a nasty divorce, ya get over it. Her situation is temporary, my son's is permanent...
Luv ya Doc, thank you!!!
Marian
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Post by rockds on Mar 9, 2006 9:54:45 GMT -5
everyone wants special treatment when only a few really need special treatment. That said, when those that want it don't get it they feel left out. In her case see probably feels the world is out to get her, her children and what's left of her life. Go easy on her, she probably needs a friend right now in the worst kind of way.
robert
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earthdog
Cave Dweller 
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Mar 9, 2006 10:35:59 GMT -5
Sorry to hear all that. When you talk nice to her and if she gets cocky, smack the crap outta her till you can hear the rocks in her head rattle...
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Post by Cher on Mar 9, 2006 11:15:40 GMT -5
Marian, I'm really sorry about the pettiness of your neighbor but she's in a lot of pain so everything is "against her" right now. If she doesn't know about your son, it's not really ingorance, it's just something she doesn't know. Go pound a few nails in the fence before you talk to her, between that and remembering what she's going through will help. I understand your meaning that her hurts will heal, your son's won't but for right now, you'll never convince her that she'll be ok. Some people are stronger than others, but when you don't feel stronger, you have us when you need to vent.
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Post by Alice on Mar 9, 2006 11:35:45 GMT -5
Sorry to hear what happened Marian.
You're very lucky to have a bus driver that will pick him up in front of the house if he doesn't show up at the bus stop.
Where I live, my son gets no special treatment what so ever (which is good in a way, that they treat him no different then any other kid), but they sure give us (as a family) a hard time because he's different, and can't accomplish things normal kids can do "What do you mean he can't climb a rope?","What do you mean he can't talk properly?", "WHAT??? He can't ride a bike yet?", "He's 10 years old for heavens sake! He should be able to tie his shoes on his own by now", the list goes on...
They make me feel so bad sometimes, and make me feel like I'm not even trying to teach him certain things. What they don't understand is that certain things, they just cannot do. They either don't have the hand-eye coordination that they need, or it's just too complicated for them to do certain things mentally.
I guess the only way for them to understand is to have a "special" child of their own.
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Post by americanbulldogsnj on Mar 9, 2006 12:26:19 GMT -5
Sorry to hear what happened Marian. You're very lucky to have a bus driver that will pick him up in front of the house if he doesn't show up at the bus stop. Where I live, my son gets no special treatment what so ever (which is good in a way, that they treat him no different then any other kid), but they sure give us (as a family) a hard time because he's different, and can't accomplish things normal kids can do "What do you mean he can't climb a rope?","What do you mean he can't talk properly?", "WHAT??? He can't ride a bike yet?", "He's 10 years old for heavens sake! He should be able to tie his shoes on his own by now", the list goes on... They make me feel so bad sometimes, and make me feel like I'm not even trying to teach him certain things. What they don't understand is that certain things, they just cannot do. They either don't have the hand-eye coordination that they need, or it's just too complicated for them to do certain things mentally. I guess the only way for them to understand is to have a "special" child of their own. Alice, Yes I know what you mean! Even tho he's special sometimes people just get petty and want the same treatment for their kids. I'm sorry that people give you a hard time about your son, It's something I'm very familiar with! My son just learned to button and zip his pants, tie his shoes, and brush his teeth on his own. People freak out because he's almost 10 years old! He just didnt have the fine motor skills yet, but he does now. I hope things get better for you Alice... It's not right that people are so ignorant... Marian |
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Post by americanbulldogsnj on Mar 9, 2006 12:29:05 GMT -5
To all,
THANK YOU for letting me vent... I'm ok, now that I know what's going on with her I'll try and reason with her. I promise not to go in gunzblazing lol! She'll listen to reason, otherwise she's going to look like an ass, I'll make sure of that... Thank you guys for keeping this loooney on the path lol...
Marian
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Post by Alice on Mar 9, 2006 12:45:01 GMT -5
My son knows how to do buttons and zip his coat, brush his teeth, etc... it's just the shoes that he can't tie.
He doesn't wear dress pants or jeans. Jogging pants are so much easier for him to pull up at school, and a lot cheaper to buy (he's very round around the belly and it's very hard to find dress pants that fit him).
He's a good kid that knows how to do some things that "normal" kids can't do yet (or should I say "what normal kids aren't allowed to do yet"). I just let him be to discover what he wants (shows he's ready to learn about that particular thing... like Zippers, etc...) and I'll help him out by "practicing" with him until he masters it.
He's just not ready for Shoes and bike riding.
But it'll come one day.
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181lizard
Cave Dweller
Still lurking :)
Member since December 2005
Posts: 2,171
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Post by 181lizard on Mar 9, 2006 13:31:41 GMT -5
Edog...yer killin me! I'm gonna be laughin about that all day!
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thehawke
freely admits to licking rocks
My Lord and Master
Member since January 2006
Posts: 866
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Post by thehawke on Mar 9, 2006 15:29:32 GMT -5
"normal". I dunno, I have been thinking about such things and my wife thinks that people labeled with autism or ADD aren't necessarily challenged. Their brains just work differently than ours. It is really US who are challenged when confronted with someone who sees and experiences the world in a completely different way.
BTW, I read Temple Grandin's book and it was fascinating. I am not saying any person with autism can be whatever they want to be. But being autistic herself, I felt I got a glimpse of what the world is really like for an autistic person.
You are so amazing for being able to "place yourself in her shoes." It sounds like once you realized who it was and what she is going through, your outlook on the situation did a complete change for the better. Doesn't excuse her being a snot earlier but anyway...
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earthdog
Cave Dweller
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Mar 9, 2006 16:38:31 GMT -5
Everyone thinks I was kidding. If you try and talk nice, and understanding and they still act like an ass, then the niceness goes out the window. Alot of people think the world owes them everything and I'm sick of it. I'm only 45 but I have seen a big change in people over the years. Then after I met my wife and started to hear all the stories from where she works, it just confirms to me that society is really starting to suck, right along with the government. The last few years and just recenty I had to be in touch with a couple state, county, and city government agencies, They really suck, you always get the run-a-round. You can't put any faith in anything, but your own abilities. I can't wait until our kids are grown and Takila and I can move to the woods, away from all the bs from living in a city.
Yeah, I'm pissed.
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Post by cpdad on Mar 9, 2006 20:12:13 GMT -5
american..i cant put myself in your shoes...but i have to agree with earthdog..a lot of people think the world owes them everything...my son had a fairly major speech problem from birth untill he was 10..he attended speech therapy 2 times a week..every darn week from the time he was 3 untill he was 10... luckily the therapists did there job..and made sure my son sat of the front of the class each school year..they wanted to make sure he was hearing the words correctly..but after a few years..some parents became aware that he was sitting at the front of the class because of his speech impedement...i walked up 1 day to the class room waiting for him to come out..and there was a few parents standing there..they didnt see me..and i heard 1 say...they should put all the smart ones at the front..like ours...and put the challenged ones at the back...i wanted to go off on them but i didnt...just so happened my son..walked out before theirs...and i made it a point to step in front of them...and stop my son and say...im so proud of you..i knew if anyone could out drive the national champion you could..which he had done the weekend before in his kart..as i said i cant put myself in your shoes..but i can say this...tell your child that you are so proud of them ...as much as you can.. in front of as many people as you can...and let the people that think the world owes them something..wait on what they are owed..i chose not to say a word to the folks that thought they were owed...just praised my child in front of them...and guess what parents were in the audience this past year...when my son grabbed honors..for highest average in..sceince.. and social studies...and was given credit for winning the science fair..and doing great at the state level...yep the same ones that called him CHALLENGED!
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drupe
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since September 2005
Posts: 1,245
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Post by drupe on Mar 9, 2006 21:22:42 GMT -5
One of the major challenges in life is to understand that a good many of our fellow citizens do not understand many of the things that they believe they understand. Yes, there are some among us who intentionally do to their peers what they could never except if they were the recipients of such treatment. Many have no knowledge of what havoc they can create by their horrid treatment of their fellow man. They do not understand that each of us have our "differences" and that there are those among use who for one reason or another are not "normal".
To sort through these differences and except that there are circumstances that we must treat differently than we would on an average is truly what makes a person become a true member of the human race and not just a higher form of animal. Unfortunately a good many of our species have neither the inclination or the ability to except the challenge and become victorious when faced with any degree of difference from what the perceive as the norm.
I really doubt that you can make a difference by speaking with this rude person and fear that a confrontation with her will only serve to effect you in an adverse manner.
Luck and the Lord be with you.
Pete
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jlc0321
spending too much on rocks
Member since September 2005
Posts: 408
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Post by jlc0321 on Mar 9, 2006 22:43:22 GMT -5
Marian,
I'm sorry to hear about you're problem with you're neighbor. I hope when you talk to her everything turns out all right.
I'm with Earthdog on this one. This country is going to hell in a hand basket. A good many people don't care about anyone but themselves. People don't have pride in the work they do. They want easy money. There seems to be a lack of morality, honor, pride and character or personal drive among a good portion of the population.
I'm about the same age as Earthdog, but I have been
noticing the same trend as him.
Just my 2 cents worth.
Jeff
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thehawke
freely admits to licking rocks
My Lord and Master
Member since January 2006
Posts: 866
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Post by thehawke on Mar 10, 2006 0:24:49 GMT -5
well, but then there's us. And from what I've seen we are the antithesis/entidote to the type of persond escribed above.
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Post by americanbulldogsnj on Mar 10, 2006 2:30:59 GMT -5
well, but then there's us. And from what I've seen we are the antithesis/entidote to the type of persond escribed above. True that Hawke, but where do we draw the line? Yes, I'm willing to speak with this woman, well I was anyway, she however avoided me with the quickness, this morning when I caught up to her car, she pretty much just pulled around me and tore off. There is a fine line between being a charitable person and being a doormat. I'm feeling kinda door-matty right now, not just because of her but because of some personal family problems in my life that just reared thier ugly head this evening, unrelated to the bus situation... I'm feeling kinda scrappy, and door-matty... Maybe I should give it a few days... I am ubove such trifle... Marian |
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spacemanspliff
starting to spend too much on rocks
Member since January 2006
Posts: 171
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Post by spacemanspliff on Mar 10, 2006 2:58:56 GMT -5
Marian, I'm sorry you have to deal with so much rite now! I understand how frusterating and how much it hurts to hear someone speak ill of your child. My daughter is High Functioning Autistic (aspergers) with an emphasis on behaviour. She looks and learns like a normal 10 year old but sometimes things just don't come out rite, and sometimes she just does not understand. We have had more than our share of run in's with other parrents and people in general. I have found the best thing to do is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Let it go! That way your child learns how to deal with these people in the future, because being challanged they wil run into these people their whole life. They can take it personally or they can let it go according to what they are taught. Autism interfears with the Social aspect of the brain making what is Common Sence to you and me not so to and Autistic, they only know what they are acustomed to. The best way to get someone back is to let them look like the ass they are. I found out the other day that Bill Gates also has Aspergers Syndrome I bet some people that bitched when he was a kid wish they could have been nicer when they had the oportunity. Now that's PAY BACK!
Peace, SSSSpaeman SSSpliff
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Post by sandsman1 on Mar 10, 2006 3:26:01 GMT -5
that just plain sucks Marian but ignore the ignorant you don't need the aggravation if she cant get over it and says anything else well explain it to her and when she gets back up ask her if she needs help gettin back in her car or house hahahaha
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