earthdog
Cave Dweller 
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Mar 10, 2006 18:03:46 GMT -5
I'm no special father, just a dumb truck driver that loves his daughter. I have always wanted her here with me, but not under these circumstances. It brings rage to me when I hear of people doing these things to kids, I never thought it would happen to mine though.
Her mother gave her the guilt treatment of the year a few weeks ago, that proves that mom cares more about not having to work, than her own daughter, she told Rachel that if they lose gary, they won't have a house to live in, a new minivan to drive, and no insurance. My daughter has been insured through us for awhile now so that part don't matter, but what a thing to tell a little girl that is going through alot at the time, along with school, friends, puberty, and self-consciousness. To know and feel that your own mother doesn't want you around is hard to conceive.
Deb, not only you, but everyone here has helped in one way or another. Thank you very much for the support.
Damn, it's 5pm now, we gotta leave to go get her.
I'm happy as a clown, but sad also, what a way to feel. After kids go to bed, I think it's gonna be time for a BIG drink of wine.
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Post by Cher on Mar 10, 2006 18:29:22 GMT -5
I'm just so glad that you and Takila were there for her so she had some place else to go. So I'd just like to take this opportunity to welcome your daughter to our rock family. We're all rootin' for you kiddo, we know you'll be much happier now.
Cher
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Post by Alice on Mar 10, 2006 19:39:30 GMT -5
That's great news EDog!!
But also very sad to hear what she has been going though.
What I don't understand is why you weren't called in the first place to take her in, instead of having to impose on her Grandma. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. She's with you!
I hope the adjustment period for all of you goes smoothly.
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Debs
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since February 2005
Posts: 1,252
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Post by Debs on Mar 10, 2006 20:17:53 GMT -5
Congrats Earthdog! Just remember you don't have to be anything but yourself and the best dad you can be to her. Being there for her when she needs you most! You are going to do just fine. She is such a cutie! Yes, it is going to be an adjustment, but all of you are going to make it after all! Enjoy the moments with your daughter. As none of us ever really know how much time we have left...
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Post by sandsman1 on Mar 10, 2006 21:12:36 GMT -5
WTG EARTH--just dont forget bad things come to bad people i hope you both are around to hear when he gets his--- hey if ya want ill drive through town you push him and ill run his azz over with truck and trailer and if ya want ill go around da block and doit again --- thats gotta be the lowest thing in my book i been around the block a few times know plenty of people that dont follow the rules hey been one myself but i can tell ya even the worst guys i knew didnt get into that stuff ---hes just a low down dirty side windin weasel neckin SOB and i cant wait to hear that he got his someday ---- and dont worry cause every day you wake up you will know she is safe
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Post by rockyraccoon on Mar 11, 2006 0:59:57 GMT -5
my heart hurts for what she has suffered e'dog. debs is right about her mom. you may curse her like a dog when you are out of her earshot but don't say it in front of her. she will draw her on conclusions as she grows up. what she needs now is a safe and loving environment, rules, guidance and good role models. many thoughts and prayers will be coming your way.
i so understand your feeling like you could go hurt her step-dad for this but remember this - she's already lost a mom and you being put in jail would not help her heal. she needs healing time right now with you by her side. i will pray for her strength to overcome the emotional damage and regain the childhood that has been snatched from her.
kim
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spacemanspliff
starting to spend too much on rocks
Member since January 2006
Posts: 171
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Post by spacemanspliff on Mar 11, 2006 4:21:37 GMT -5
EarthDog, I know I haven't been around here too long but I'm with SandsMan1 on this one, I'll be in line rite behind him to make sure the brains get squished after being popped out of place by the truck. Her mother will probably never realise how big a looser she really is. What he did is probably a product of something that happened to him (not excusing, I still think he should be take out of this world) but what your daughters mother has done is un-excusable. I'm sorry it had to happen like this but I'm glad your daughter is safe at HOME now!
Peace, SSSSpaceman SSSpliff
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Post by joe on Mar 11, 2006 9:21:31 GMT -5
Edog I'm so glad you're going to get her. I'm thinking very highly of Takila, the woman who is willing to take the girl in and welcome her. Three cheers for Takila!
I don't think I could have had your patience Edog. Three more cheers for you!
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WyckedWyre
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since April 2007
Posts: 1,391
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Post by WyckedWyre on Mar 11, 2006 10:44:05 GMT -5
I am very proud of you in showing considerable restraint by not blowing his brains out. I wasn't abused as a child, but suffered emotional and physical abuse at the hands of my X throughout our marriage. Two years after we were divorced he broke into my house, raped and beat me, and left me for dead. I had to fight the urge to hunt him down for years. To this day I haven't found a man I can feel comfortable with. Your daughter will need counselling. My heart breaks for her.
Once your daughter is home, you'd do well to completely ignore your X and her husband. You cannot change her stupidity. Don't worry. Karma will take care of them both.
Love you, ED - S
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earthdog
Cave Dweller
Don't eat yellow snow
Member since June 2006
Posts: 2,731
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Post by earthdog on Mar 11, 2006 11:35:32 GMT -5
Last night was pretty rough for me. after we packed the trunk, her mom came out to sign a stipulation and my daughter said, "bye mom, I love you" her mother just said, "bye" You could hear in my daughters voice, all she wanted to hear was her mother say I love you back. It was dark out and in the car, which I was glad, because I teared up big time, feeling the hurt in her voice.
Well we are all going shopping in a bit for school supplies and new school clothes, that'll put her in a good mood. What female doesn't like to go shopping?
Thank you all, again for your support, I needed it.
Every single one of you are great friends.
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textiger
freely admits to licking rocks
Member since May 2005
Posts: 946
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Post by textiger on Mar 11, 2006 11:54:35 GMT -5
Edog, all our thoughts are with you. Your whole family has a long road ahead, but I think you've amply demonstrated you'll make it. You've got a lot of friends and admirers on this board. Use 'em when you need 'em. And man, I hope CPS takes those other children out of that house.
Take care,
matt
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thehawke
freely admits to licking rocks
My Lord and Master
Member since January 2006
Posts: 866
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Post by thehawke on Mar 11, 2006 12:26:47 GMT -5
well, what you need to do is go buy a dart board. Then get a big picture of asshole's head and put it on the dart board. And present it as a gift to your daughter hehe.
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Post by Cher on Mar 11, 2006 14:01:41 GMT -5
Edog I'm so glad you're going to get her. I'm thinking very highly of Takila, the woman who is willing to take the girl in and welcome her. Three cheers for Takila! I don't think I could have had your patience Edog. Three more cheers for you! I've been on the same side that Takila's on right now. My hubby's ex decided one year it was time for his sons to live with us ... truth was, she was husband chasing, and didn't want them around. You need to be there for Takila, just like you do your daughter. It's very hard to try and mother a child who's own mother turned away from her. Make sure your daughter knows ... Takila isn't like her mother and will be there for her when her own mother wasn't. |
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181lizard
Cave Dweller
Still lurking :)
Member since December 2005
Posts: 2,171
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Post by 181lizard on Mar 11, 2006 15:03:01 GMT -5
Oh wow...what a crappy situation for all of you.
Be prepared for some major fallout. Yes...counselling is a must. Discipline with love is a must. Unconditional love (for all of you) is a must. For your daughter, the actual physical abuse is over but now the hardest work starts. Someone I love dearly, well their bio mom was the perp. & this beautiful, talented person has had a very hard time with the situation even more than 20 years later.
Be strong & well & take a beig breath!
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Post by texasrockhound on Mar 13, 2006 11:19:20 GMT -5
Hang in there E-Dog...It hurts BIG TIME when your kids are hurting. You guys will get through this ....but like everyone else has said..there will surely be some emotional problems to deal with. It sounds like you have the right perspective and have shown super-human restraint (u know what i mean) because it's in the best interests of your daughter....
Saying some prayers for you all....
Dan
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Post by takilasunrise on Mar 14, 2006 14:30:29 GMT -5
Ok, I couldn't stay away. I had "disappeared" because I didn't want to get accused of stalking my husband  ........anyway................ After reading all the replies to E-dog's news, I have to say I am in awe that there are still people out there that sincerely care about others. I have two daughters of my own from my first marriage that live with us. My youngest is a month older than E-dog's daughter, almost 14 yrs. old. My eldest daughter is turning 18 yrs. old next month. 2 months ago I thought I was losing 1 daughter to adulthood and I only had one more teenager to go! In a matter of an evening, we now have two! I am surprised by the way I feel about it. Before, E-dog's daughter visits felt more like just one of the girl's friends staying overnight for a slumber party. Now, I am the mother figure for another person. What a responsibility. It's enough to be the mother figure of your own children, but to be someone else's is a whole other feeling! I do know how she feels, though. I went to live with my dad and step-mother for a year when I was in 9th grade (only because my single mom and I were fighting all the time). It wasn't that hard to go to a new school or find new friends, but I can say it was hard adjusting to new rules of the house and a step-mother that resented me and my brother being there. I hope I can use my experience from that time in my life and make it easier for my step-daughter! Another strange similarity is that my mom had the exact same thing happen to her! My grandma remarried and went on to have 4 children with her 2nd husband. My mom's step-father molested my mom and made my mom touch him. My mom told her mom, who did not believe her. My mom was sent to live with her dad. My mom's step-father went on to molest my mom's half-sisters, the neighbors and his granddaughters! But, because of the era, no one turned him in, and he went to his grave never being prosecuted. (I do believe he is being prosecuted now!) But, to this day, my mother, who is 64 years old, still has issues with her mom, that she picked her perverted husband over her own daughter. She even confronted her mom about it 15 years ago, but she still denied it, even though she did admit it happened to the others. I hope we can guide E-dog's daughter in the right direction. I tried to explain to her that her mother is in denial, that it's hard to accept that someone you love would do something that bad. Once she gets settled into her new routine with school and home, than we will look into counseling. Thanks for all the words of encouragement and advise! |
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beechcomber
spending too much on rocks
Summertime!
Member since March 2006
Posts: 345
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Post by beechcomber on Mar 14, 2006 14:34:07 GMT -5
My blessings go out to your young daughter. I'm sure this is very emotional for her. 13 is such a rough age!
BTW- she is absolutely beautiful!
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Post by texasrockhound on Mar 16, 2006 9:49:49 GMT -5
Takila - The cycle of abuse hard to break...I've heard your story so many times (for some reason people confide in me).... breaking the cycle takes a lot of work...(I'm sure you already know that)... just know that you are not alone in the struggle and that people do genuinely care...
You have an advantage 'cause you've dealt with a similar situations....you have been 'introduced' into her life for a reason...go forward with confidence and without hesitation with the knowledge that your influence in her life is exactly the way it should be regardless of kinship ties... your experiences have armed you with the tools to provide comfort, solice and advice to E-Dogs daughter ... don't let fear prevent you from telling her what needs to be said. ...we are all here to help each other..that's just the way it is.
God Bless....
Dan
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inflight22
has rocks in the head
Member since January 2006
Posts: 710
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Post by inflight22 on Mar 17, 2006 4:31:20 GMT -5
I need to jump in and wish the both of you well. I hope you keep us all posted on your situation and how it's going. I was a step parent in my first marriage, and in my second, I was the biological parent. Just as our divorce was getting settled last summer, I decided to let my 9 year old daughter be with her father. She and I weren't getting along well, and I have trouble being an effective disciplinarian. She really wanted to go live with her dad and his girlfriend, so I reluctantly agreed. So far it's turned out really well, and I have her every weekend and over school vacations. I pay child support. We get along much better.
I have no understanding of parents who keep children in unpleasant situations, or choose a spouse over their needs. Although that man ought to be beaten, I'd give the mother a worse one for allowing that to happen to her own child. She ought to do more time than him. Her denial and looking the other way allowed this to go on - she's even lower than he is.
jj
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stefan
Cave Dweller
Member since January 2005
Posts: 14,113
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Post by stefan on Mar 17, 2006 13:46:44 GMT -5
My son is from my wifes teenage mistake- but thankfully she had the support and smarts to get out of a bad sitiuation and move on with her life- We met when he was 2- I adopted hime after we got married- He turned 18 about a year ago and has been nothing but grief (he is a good kid who makes stupid mistakes) but I still love him- well he graduated High school and moved out (well in with his grandmother) He has never asked about his biological father until just recently- Well after searching for monthes he has struck out- and he blames me and my wife for not staying in touch with him (yea like that was gonna happen)- Well I still love him- but I gotta let him figure out his own path- sometimes the hardest thing in life is to just love our kids- NO MATTER WHAT- Earth, Takila- I applaude what you are doing- and I encourage both of you to just love her no matter what- She sounds like she is a good kid, and I'm sure she is going to have some bumps in the road- but You both have the right attitude, and plenty of love to share-
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........anyway................
