Post by Alice on Mar 17, 2006 16:33:32 GMT -5
stefan said:
My son is from my wifes teenage mistake- but thankfully she had the support and smarts to get out of a bad sitiuation and move on with her life- We met when he was 2- I adopted hime after we got married- He turned 18 about a year ago and has been nothing but grief (he is a good kid who makes stupid mistakes) but I still love him- well he graduated High school and moved out (well in with his grandmother) He has never asked about his biological father until just recently- Well after searching for monthes he has struck out- and he blames me and my wife for not staying in touch with him (yea like that was gonna happen)- Well I still love him- but I gotta let him figure out his own path- sometimes the hardest thing in life is to just love our kids- NO MATTER WHAT- Earth, Takila- I applaude what you are doing- and I encourage both of you to just love her no matter what- She sounds like she is a good kid, and I'm sure she is going to have some bumps in the road- but You both have the right attitude, and plenty of love to share- Just a thought Stefan, but has he tried Classmates.com? or one of those PI web sites?
I can understand why he's asking questions about his father. I don't think he's really mad at you. I think he's just frustrated because his father is so hard to find. Who better to lash out at, then the people who love him unconditionally.
It was a good thing you were up front with him at the beginning, and not keep his biological father a secret.
I'm wondering though, why does he want to find his father? Does he just want to meet him for "closure"? Is he angry at his father? What's he going to do when he finds his father?
E-dog and Takila, for what it's worth, I went through a tough time as a kid as well. Not exactly like the situations you described, but it was a tough none the less. When I was 12 or 13, I put my foot down and decided it was time to do something about the situation at home...
Without getting into details and to make a long story short, at that age (for me) was the perfect time to start life brand new again. I changed schools, made new friends, kept in touch with old friends (Still to this day I talk to them). No therapy was needed. The life change that I went through was exactly what I needed at the time. Maybe it'll be the same with E-dog's daughter, and all these life changes is just what she needs.
........anyway................
