thehawke
freely admits to licking rocks
My Lord and Master
Member since January 2006
Posts: 866
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Post by thehawke on Apr 10, 2006 13:47:47 GMT -5
Someone sent this to the wife and we got a kick out of it.
This is for all you women 40 years and over.... and for those who are turning 40, and for those who are scared of moving into their 40's....
AND for guys who are scared of girls over 40!!!!...This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.
Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Wome over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she
knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.
A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. ! Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire
Pig, just to get a little sausage.
Please share with your women friends over "40", (and some of your
under-40 friends).
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Post by deb193 on Apr 10, 2006 14:22:05 GMT -5
... snip ... For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. ! Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage. ... Nice joke. And certianly true of the choices many women make in a society where they do not have to depend on a man for economic survival. But the whole story to set it up was a little unsetteling. It gave moderate prasie to women over 40, and by implication was a long laundry list of the faults of women under 40. Who is Andy Rooney to be telling any women their faults? |
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181lizard
Cave Dweller 
Still lurking :)
Member since December 2005
Posts: 2,171
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Post by 181lizard on Apr 10, 2006 17:39:01 GMT -5
Daniel!...It was a joke! A humorous story...Something to make us laugh! By God, I'm over 40 and every single thing he wrote is absolutely true. Only problem is...I'm fairly comfortable with guns...know how to break em down, clean em & put em back together but I've never been ok with carrying one. (husband does...has a concealed weapons permit) so he decided to get me some protection I could carry with me. (by the way...my story is 100% true but happened about 15 years ago)
So he comes home from a gun show & tells me he has a surprise for me. Pulls out a Taser. Old style, has a button switch on the side that you have to hold down and has the 2 points at the top where the lightning comes out of. (yeah...i know that's not what it's called, I just don't know what else to call it)
So I say, "Cool honey! I'll carry it with me cause it fits so well in my purse."
Couple of problems. No one ever told me what it would feel like to get shocked AND no one ever told me not to carry it in a clutch purse. Yup! Went to go out the door, slapped my purse under my arm and proceeded to go to my knees. Turned around, once I got up from the floor, handed my purse to husband & told him he could carry it from now on!
Moral of the story? Clutch purses REALLY suck.
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thehawke
freely admits to licking rocks
My Lord and Master
Member since January 2006
Posts: 866
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Post by thehawke on Apr 10, 2006 20:17:19 GMT -5
LOL Andy Rooney is an old curmudgeon who gives his view on just about everything on 60 Minutes. I remember watching him as a kid. I'd sit through all of 60 Minutes just to hear what he had to say.
I found his little story highly amusing.
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WyckedWyre
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since April 2007
Posts: 1,391
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Post by WyckedWyre on Apr 10, 2006 22:00:51 GMT -5
Andy Rooney is the sexiest man alive. That wit... Those eyebrows... The Hell with Brad Pitt.  S |
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Post by Toad on Apr 10, 2006 22:07:59 GMT -5
Didn't sound like Andy Rooney at all to me.
Except for the part of building up one group (women over 40) at the expense of two others (young women and men).
Some people call it funny; others mean.
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181lizard
Cave Dweller
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Member since December 2005
Posts: 2,171
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Post by 181lizard on Apr 10, 2006 22:14:54 GMT -5
yes toad...that is a type of humor. showing people their differences, small or large, same or diverse. Hell, us old broads (and yes...I'm considering myself one!) have been shoved around for years at the expense of others! Like the young whippersnappers our life partners have been throwing us to the side for. Like a damn trade in car! Well I, for one am NOT gonna take it anymore! Where's my taser?!
I tell people all the time, somethin happens to my husband, I'm goin over the the other side!
Do ya get it? It's supposed to be funny!
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Post by Toad on Apr 10, 2006 22:24:02 GMT -5
I guess I don't.
Funny to me is being clever. Not bashing people. Any 6-year old can do that.
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181lizard
Cave Dweller
Still lurking :)
Member since December 2005
Posts: 2,171
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Post by 181lizard on Apr 11, 2006 10:41:39 GMT -5
Ouch! That really hurt! I'm gonna go tell my mom!
(Toad...this is supposed to be humorous, not ment as a bash. I'm really tryin to get you to laugh!)
Besides...I'm EXTREMELY clever!
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blarneystone
spending too much on rocks
Rocks in my head
Member since March 2010
Posts: 307
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Post by blarneystone on Apr 11, 2006 11:45:19 GMT -5
Huh...I wasn't offended at all! ....and I'm not about to 'trade in' my 40+ 'ol' lady' She justs gets better and better everyday!
I think that we should all have the capacity to laugh at ourselves once in a while... If I was offended every time someone cracked a joke about drunk Irishmen I wouldn't have any friends and I'd be pissed off all the time.
Toad - That was sort of a backhanded slam wasn't it? Seems to me that your guilty of the exact same type of behavior that you complained about.....
Liz - Got it! ;D
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Post by hermatite on Apr 11, 2006 11:56:14 GMT -5
well I laughed...of course, I'm 43 so I know where of I speak. I like to think of myself as more of a Dame than a Broad. Of course I like to refer to my legs as "gams" and guns as "heaters"...so you can't go by me. There are entire days when I'll go around talking like a character from the maltese falcon. My boss doesn't even blink any more when I see him come in and yell "cheese it! Da cops!". And then there's talk like a pirate day! oh yes...I do amuse myself. arrrr matey...tis true... I do.
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thehawke
freely admits to licking rocks
My Lord and Master
Member since January 2006
Posts: 866
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Post by thehawke on Apr 11, 2006 12:01:43 GMT -5
well I laughed...of course, I'm 43 so I know where of I speak. I like to think of myself as more of a Dame than a Broad. Of course I like to refer to my legs as "gams" and guns as "heaters"...so you can't go by me. There are entire days when I'll go around talking like a character from the maltese falcon. My boss doesn't even blink any more when I see him come in and yell "cheese it! Da cops!". And then there's talk like a pirate day! oh yes...I do amuse myself. arrrr matey...tis true... I do. Ahhh talk like a pirate day. You do know that pirate-hood is one of the cornerstones of FSMism, don't you? And every friday is a holiday! Yarrr!!! I been touched by His Noodly Appendage! |
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Post by hermatite on Apr 11, 2006 12:04:59 GMT -5
I've never heard of that but I'm so IN! Though I should be holding out for when every Friday is calorie free.
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181lizard
Cave Dweller
Still lurking :)
Member since December 2005
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Post by 181lizard on Apr 11, 2006 12:24:02 GMT -5
OK ya'll...if I offended anyone by being a smart_ss, my most profound apologies. I love to laugh & joke. Not everyone gets me! (But THANKGOD you do Daniel!)
Sincerely...Liz
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Post by hermatite on Apr 11, 2006 12:30:47 GMT -5
Cheese it! Da smart ass!
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blarneystone
spending too much on rocks
Rocks in my head
Member since March 2010
Posts: 307
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Post by blarneystone on Apr 11, 2006 12:32:27 GMT -5
There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.....
Ever read Heinlein? "Stranger in a Strange Land"
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Post by Toad on Apr 11, 2006 20:53:24 GMT -5
Huh...I wasn't offended at all! ....and I'm not about to 'trade in' my 40+ 'ol' lady' She justs gets better and better everyday! I think that we should all have the capacity to laugh at ourselves once in a while... If I was offended every time someone cracked a joke about drunk Irishmen I wouldn't have any friends and I'd be pissed off all the time. Toad - That was sort of a backhanded slam wasn't it? Seems to me that your guilty of the exact same type of behavior that you complained about..... Liz - Got it! ;D Laugh at ourselves - yes. But I'm not a 40 plus year old woman so I really can't relate. To follow the logic of this thread, I can make fun of fat people, disabled kids, and unemployed people to make me feel better about myself as an average Joe? I understand the 'humor' of the quote. I just prefer stuff like the 'Wrong e-mail address' that was also posted today. We can have different opinions. I wasn't offended - never said I was. Just talking and giving my 2 cents. Yes, it was a feeble attempt at a slam, but as you say - rather pathetic. |
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Post by hermatite on Apr 12, 2006 12:33:17 GMT -5
Okay cool... I say the quickest way to ruin a joke is to overanalyze it...okay...well...someone else said it first. Good one hawke...thanks for posting it. post more! Laugh lines give me character!
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blarneystone
spending too much on rocks
Rocks in my head
Member since March 2010
Posts: 307
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Post by blarneystone on Apr 12, 2006 15:00:36 GMT -5
Toad - I'm not trying to pick a fight...honestly. Sorry if i got you mad at me...
It's funny how different people can read that joke and come away with totally different view points...
I thought the joke was pointing out some of the finer points of women over 40 in a humorous way...
I love 40 plus women!! I'm married to one!
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Post by Toad on Apr 12, 2006 17:31:07 GMT -5
Sometimes I try to prove how smart I am by over analyzing and looking at from different angles. Sure sign of low self-esteem or just taking myself too seriously.
Sometimes a joke is just a joke, right?
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S
